Interlude: Shopping Spree
by Pudentilla
Summary: Scenes between Christmas reconciliation and Valentine's Day 2015. Chapter 10 is the last installment for this story. I love these characters and am still drawn to writing about them. But the canon has veered wildly off course. Even Homer nodded, but I want to spend some time thinking about how to deal with the matters before I write again.
1. Chapter 1 - There's an App for That

Thursday evening before Spring Term begins. Caroline had cooked so Laurence and Kate clear. Caroline protests when Kate rises but Kate says pointedly, "Surely it's for Laurence to decline my help, not you Caroline." Laurence laughed as Caroline's jaw dropped open. "You turning down help, Laurence?"

"No, ma'am. Many hands, light work, etc." he said, the touch of formality in his voice undermined entirely by his grin. "You're outvoted, Mum. Go get your laptop and set up for the grand master planning session." When he noticed Kate's bewildered look, he explained. "Mum makes a calendar and to do list for us before the term starts. Keeps things organized for her...and us. You should probably grab your phone and laptop."

"I think I'll make us some tea and wait for direct orders." Kate said dryly.

"Resistance is futile, Kate, but I'll enjoy watching this."

As Kate puttered in the kitchen, Caroline claimed the dinner table, plugging in her laptop and typing away till Kate and Laurence joined her with mugs of tea. Caroline took a sip of hers and laughed.

"Kate, this is delicious but you'll put the brandy makers out of business."

"When I drinks tea, Doctor Elliot," Kate replied, "I drinks tea. When I want warm brown water, I wait for the urge to pass." Laurence laughed and Caroline retreated.

"Right, well then. Thank you. Now, as to the calendar, I've made one we can share in Google calendar.

"Do I have that?" asked Kate?

"Yes, Sweetheart. No teasing, please. It with your SH account." Kate looked at her blankly.

"Kate, your email account at school." Caroline said a bit waspishly.

"Our email has a calendar?"

"Kate, you know it does. I talk about the electronic calendar at staff meetings twice a week."

"I never knew." Kate confessed in a small voice.

"Well, how do you keep track of things. You never miss anything." Caroline was sincerely confused.

"When you mention things in meetings, I write them down in my weekly planner and if I'm uncertain about anything, I email Beverly."

Laurence began to hum the theme from The Twilight Zone and intoned in a deep voice, "then one day, a Lesbian Luddite crossed Dr. Elliot's radar." Kate burst out laughing.

Caroline looked from one to the other as they laughed and then laughed out loud herself. "I am so screwed with the pair of you, aren't I?" she asked. This engendered more laughter. She sighed. "Laurence, could you load up the calendar in your phone. Kate, give me yours and I'll show you how to set it up." The request set off another gale of laughter.

Kate stood, gasping and said. "Purse." and left the dining room in search of her bag. Still laughing when she returned, she doubled over at the look on Caroline's face when she handed her the flip phone.

Laurence jumped up and said dramatically. "My god, a dumb phone. I've read about these. Observed in the wild. This is fantastic."

Caroline now looked thoroughly confused. "You never, got an iPhone or a Samsung. Even a Windows phone?"

"Amazon made a phone, too." offered Laurence helpfully.

"No." said Kate, a bit embarrassed.

"People do you know." said Caroline. "It's not like eating meat from an endangered species."

"I can call you, read your emails and text you." said Kate firmly. "What else do I need in a phone?

"Laurence," said Caroline, "It is at this point you take over the conversation and remind me what a blessing teenaged boys can be."

"Well besides Mum's master calendar for life, what you can do with music is amazing. iTunes. Pandora. playlists. It's really not all the evils of modernity, Kate."

"But I have an iPod that does all that," she objected.

"Yes, well, it's one device. Phone, music, email, texting. Convenience factor is massive." As she continued to look doubtful, he added, "also, apps." And forestalling her protest, he added, "not just games. Look here." He pulled his own phone from his pocket and tapping quickly pulled up a folder labelled, 'French.' "Here's my Quizlet app for reviewing vocabulary words. And here's my verb conjugation app and my dictionary." He grows quiet as Kate takes his phone from him and begins flipping through the apps in the folder."

"This is huge." Kate says quietly.

"I don't really know much about this but Sam's a music freak and he says musicians can do crazy stuff with apps. There's all sorts of apps for making music, managing sheet music. Right up your alley."

"Exactly," said Caroline. "Thank you, Laurence."

"You've been kind of busy lately, Kate. You might have missed some of the buzz. " Laurence said in a kind, if unwittingly patronizing voice.

Kate grinned at him. "I've also been living in the 18th century. Me and Ned Ludd." Then she turned to Caroline.

"But no you're not going out to buy me some space age, cutting edge phone."

Caroline looked very disappointed. "It would give me so much pleasure." She pouted as appealingly as she could.

"It would be ridiculously extravagant, Caroline." Caroline paused and tilting her head back on her shoulders stared at the ceiling for a few moments. Then she smiled. "I've got it." She straightened up laid out her plan. "I will buy myself, the new iPhone 6 and give you my old 5. Not a 5s, so no touch entry, sorry."

"Don't worry," Laurence said in a mock whisper to Kate, "I'll explain later."

"Then," Caroline continued, "I'll simply be upgrading and no electrons will have been splurged in the exchange." Kate pursed her lips to think about it. "However, because I'm feeling so beneficent, I shall also upgrade Laurence to a 6, when I go to the store."

"Mum!" Laurence spluttered.

"You needn't sound so shocked. You've earned it. First, you helped me persuade Kate. He has persuaded you, hasn't he?" she turned to ask Kate. "No pressure, but this only works if you take my phone."

"Well," said Kate grinning, "I could hardly be so ungracious."

"Yes, my thought, exactly." Caroline smiled then turned to Laurence. "But also, by way of thanking you. It's been a completely crazy year for you and by and large you've been as good a son as any Mum could ask for and certainly more than I deserve." Laurence, remembering some less than stellar behavior in the last year and a bit shocked at his mother's spontaneity, blushed deeply. "We'll pick it up when we go shopping for mine. Do you know what you want?"

To Kate she added, "Up for a trip to Leeds tomorrow? The store is fantastic. I'll make an appointment with the genius bar for you. They can walk you through everything you need to know. Despite the fact that the genius will be 12, studded and tattooed, you know you'll take instruction from him far better than from me.

Kate nodded with a grin. Then Laurence answered her, "Well, Mum, not to make everything about me, as it happens, I have a note with a spec list. Let me text it."

"Can you turn the new one on and set it up yourself?" Caroline asked. "Otherwise, I'll have to take yours with me for the day."

"Right." Said Laurence sardonically. "How likely is that?"

"I'm feeling somewhat out of my depth, here." Kate's observed nervously.

"That won't be true for long, Kate. She's going to start you off with Google calendar and the next thing you know it will be statistical analysis apps."

"Don't know about that," said Kate. "We lowly French and Music teachers don't have much need of statistical analysis apps."

"Well at the very least you'll love the music ones. I'll get Sam to show you some once the genius bar guy has set you up." Then he turned to his mother. "You know, Mum, we should reschedule your master planning session till Sunday or Monday night. It will be so much easier once Kate's online."

"Sunday's out, we'll be crazed." said Caroline. "Well, I will."

"No, sighed Kate. "I will too."

"Monday's out, we'll be exhausted. First day back."

"Tuesday's rugby training," said Laurence.

"Wednesday?" asked Caroline. "Can everyone do Wednesday?"

"Yes," said Kate with mock seriousness. "I'll have the genius bar lad put it in my calendar.

They all laughed.

Then Laurence stood and said, "Well, I have a few aliens to kill." Then he stopped and smiled. "Thanks for the new phone, Mum." To everyone's surprise, he leaned over and kissed Kate on the top of her forehead. "Thanks to you too, Kate. This gay mum thing is going to work out ok for a growing boy."

"Laurence!" said Caroline, shocked. But Kate and Laurence just hugged and laughed.


	2. Chapter 2 - In These Shoes?

Kate woke up cranky. It was starting to happen more. The books said it wasn't uncommon at this stage of the pregnancy. But it unnerved her. "I want to drive," she said as they straightened up the kitchen after breakfast. "I never get to drive when we're together."

"True." said Caroline cautiously. "No. You're right. It's not fair." There was an awkward silence in which Caroline's, "please god don't let me blow this" face surfaced and Kate thought, on reflection, that she, herself, was displaying the emotional maturity of a 12 year old. "But, darling," Caroline asked, "is it ok if you drive the Jeep?"

Another pause, as Kate seemed to consider. "Do you mind? She asked." Caroline must mind. The Jeep was her third child.

"No." said Caroline, firmly. "Well," she wavered. "You know me. I'd rather drive, but it's not fair not to share if you like to drive. So if I have to be a passenger then I'd rather be one in the Jeep than yours." A pause as Kate considers.

Caroline is nervous now. "Not that yours isn't a fine car. But the Jeep would be more comfortable for a longer drive, wouldn't it?"

Kate smiled at the uncertainty in Caroline's voice. She leans over and kisses her on the forehead. "It would. You're right. I'm just being difficult."

Caroline pulled her into a hug. "Well you're not being easy. I know when you're being easy. It's more like this." She kissed her. After a moment, "and this." She kissed her again, more deeply.

Kate leaned back and with a teasing smile said, "you promised me a genius with tats and studs, Dr. Elliot. This is not helping you deliver on that promise." At Caroline's mock tragic face she laughed. "But, perhaps I can make you a promise that will be worth waiting for." She laughed at Caroline's sudden switch to eager eyes and batting eyelashes.

"Well come on then." Caroline said, pulling the keys from her purse and handing them over, suddenly all business. Let's find you a genius."

In the car on the A61 heading south, even in the midst of conversation, even in the middle of a sentence, Caroline did not hesitate to point out cars ahead that had put on turn signals, and potential slow downs in the traffic pattern and the odd driver driving oddly. There were also cars entering the traffic from slip roads. Sometimes cars exited as well. On occasion, Caroline would reach her hand out to brace herself against the passenger side dashboard against a theoretically possible impact whose probability was somewhat less than .01%. When the probability was lower, she would simply grasp the grab-handle and cling to it determinedly. After 20 minutes, Kate found a layby and pulled over.

"Is everything ok?" Caroline asked, worry evident on her face. "Is it the baby? Is something wrong? Kate? Kate?" Kate took a deep breath and counted to 10. Then she did it again.

"Caroline," she began.

"Tell me what to do." Caroline interrupted hurriedly. "I'll take care of it if you just tell me what I need to do."

Kate stared her back into silence. Cars flew past them on the road.

"What?" asked Caroline, slowly realizing that she was the source of the problem.

"Caroline," Kate repeated in a slow measured tone that Caroline recognized as the harbinger of difficult news, "Caroline, our baby needs two parents. And, I have learned at great price, that I really can't live without you. So killing you isn't an option."

"Kate." Caroline protested, unsure how she could have been so annoying so quickly.

"Caroline, do you realize that you've been backseat driving from the moment I pulled out of your driveway."

"No." she objected. "Kate, that's not fair."

"It is beyond fair, Caroline," said Kate, overriding her. It is completely accurate. Do you always backseat drive?"

"To be honest, Kate, I never backseat drive." She laughed, a bit hollowly. "I never let anyone else drive." Kate laughed, sharply. Caroline explained. "William's just got his license, Laurence is too young and I could never be sure John would be sober enough to drive. Mum's always been happy to let me. This is probably the first time I've been a passenger since I went up to Oxford."

"Who taught William?" asked Kate, suddenly curious.

"I hired someone. I figured pay a driving trainer now or a therapist later," Caroline said with a sad laugh.

Kate thought this over for a bit. "Perhaps, I'm being too judgmental," she conceded. Caroline breathed an audible sigh of relief. Kate laughed. "But sweetheart, it's enraging, you know."

"What?" Caroline asked.

"I've been driving myself as long as you have. And when you drive I never give you a running commentary. You're like a bloody director's track on a DVD." She mimicked a voice over, "Note the potential hazard five miles ahead. It's possible that Kate doesn't see it so Caroline's really being helpful and kind by telling her something completely obvious."

Caroline winced. "That bad?" she asked.

"Worse. The bracing yourself for disaster between verbal interjections is, if possible, more infuriating than verbal interjections."

"I'm sorry." Caroline said. "But, it's only that..."

"Caroline," Kate interrupted, "you're not going to defend this are you?"

"Well," Caroline began.

"Because, if I were to indulge the cranky hormones, I might conclude you were trying to bully me with this kind of incredibly irritating behavior so that I'd just give up and let you drive."

"Bully you!" Caroline repeated in an outraged voice.

"Fortunately," Kate continued impassively, "I still have sufficient control of myself, despite your provocation and my hormonally altered state, that I would never conclude that."

"I would never bully you." Caroline repeated in protest.

"Well that's good," said Kate, "because my response would be pretty harsh." She put the car in gear and the signal on as eased back onto the road.

"How harsh?" asked Caroline nervously.

"It would involve you and a taxi." Kate began.

"Never mind." said Caroline. "I get the picture, I don't need the details. Sorry." They drove on a few miles in silence. Kate realized after a bit that Caroline was staring at her own feet.

"Caroline," she asked, "what are you thinking about?" Caroline looked up at her and smiled a little guiltily.

"Blahniks. The new pointy-toed denim pumps."

Kate laughed. "Shoes? Really?"

Caroline sighed. "Yes, Kate, really. There are at present only two things in my life that keep me calm. The first is you and the second is shoes. The 'keep Caroline calm' you has apparently been hijacked by the 'my turn to drive' you. So I'm just trying to make the best of a difficult situation." She grinned, shyly. "I thought we could hit a few shoe stores after you meet your genius."

"You'd probably want to try on a few pair." Kate mused.

"Yep." Agreed Caroline, back to staring at her feet.

"You'd probably want my opinion." Kate continued.

"Yep." Caroline agreed, smiling now.

"I'd have to watch you walk up and down the length of the store, trying them out if I wanted to give you a thoughtful assessment."

"Yep." Caroline smiled. "And there'd be a lot of options. Who knows, maybe you'll like the new Jimmy Choos better."

"Good job you wore a skirt today, then." Kate observed in an even voice.

There was a pause and then they both laughed.

"This cranky hormone thing could turn out to be a win-win for me." Kate mused aloud.


	3. Chapter 3 - Critical Decision Pathways

Caroline was driving, so all was right in her world. A bag from the Apple Store, a bag from Harvey Nichols - she ended up choosing Valentino's, as it turned out - and a bag from Philip Howard's Bookstore sat in the back seat. Kate was texting on her new phone. Suddenly, Caroline's new phone chirped. Caroline frowned.

"Already?" she asked.

"Just me." laughed Kate. I was testing my texting.

"That's nice. You've christened my phone." Caroline smiled happily.

'Don't you want to know what I said?" asked Kate.

"Mmm, said Caroline, "let me guess. - U R a gr8 driver?"

"No." said Kate. "Didn't think of that. Though of course you are."

"You," said Caroline, reaching over and letting her hand rest briefly on Kate's knee, "are the most marvelous girlfriend in the world. No, the galaxy. No, the cosmos."

"Also true, but didn't text that either." laughed Kate. "Just a heart and the letter 'u.'"

"Oh, Kate," said Caroline, that is the best text ever."

"Are my hormones making you soppy?" asked Kate? "I mean, you're very sweet, but..."

"Lesbian couvade?" asked Caroline. Kate smiled at her, a wave of gentle love for Caroline moved her. She leaned over and let her hand stroke Caroline's neck - half a massage, half a caress.

Caroline had apparently decided to conquer all her anxieties about being out in a single morning. From the moment Kate had parked the car, Caroline's arm had been through Kate's, unless it was around her shoulder, or she was holding her hand as they strolled the mall or walked down Street Lane after lunch. She had managed a kiss or two as they looked in shop windows and once waiting to cross a street. Kate wondered whether this was part of a planned exercise. First Leeds, then Harrogate, then SH, then the world. In fairness, Kate thought, she ought to warn the world - but whom would you text?

"Are you tired?" Kate asked, her voice soft with affection.

"A bit, yes." Caroline admitted. "You must be exhausted. I walked you half the length of Leeds."

"A little. But I had such a lovely day." They drove on in silence for a while. Then Kate asked, "Caroline?"

To Caroline's "Mmm?" she continued. "This morning you said only two things were keeping you calm."

Caroline laughed. "Yes, and now I have them. - If I could bottle it and sell it we'd have villa's on every continent. Course, we'd have to net out the cost of all the shoes."

Kate was more serious now. "But what's the stress?" Then she softened the question. "Besides learning how to be a passenger, I mean."

Caroline grinned. Another pause while she gathered her thoughts to answer. "Everything and nothing." she said finally. "I have you, so I feel like no matter what everything will be fine." She smiled and let the sense of pure joy Kate's presence brought her wash over her. She smiled at Kate. "Really, everything no matter what it is will be fine. But I have no clue what everything is." Her voice lowered. "It's exactly the kind of thing that makes me insane."

"Everything like what?" Kate asked.

"Oh, the house? When will it sell? Don't know. Inconvenient since we're going to have a baby in six or eight weeks. Your place? Do you keep it or sell it? Do you rent it? Is it any of my business anyway? School? How do I tell folks that I'm yours - teachers, staff, governors, parents."

"'That I'm yours.'" Kate repeated.

"Yep. All yours, as long as you'll have me."

"Well," said Kate, now very serious, "I'll have you forever."

"In theory?" Caroline asked with a gentle smile.

"No. Caroline. I'm serious." She paused and thought of the night of Celia and Alan's wedding. "Well, as serious as I can be when I'm so ridiculously happy."

"There's nothing ridiculous about you being happy, Kate."

"Nor you, Caroline." answered Kate. "I feel as beset as you do, you know." she continued. "I'm never sure if it's hormones or honest nerves, and that's annoying as hell in it's own right - but really, I feel so betwixt and between." Caroline's eyes narrowed with concern.

"Kate," she said. "I don't mean to bully you. Honestly. But we need a plan." Kate laughed.

"You're not bullying me." she said reassuringly. "My life is a logistical nightmare and I have the nation's greatest logistical manager in my arms every night. I'm not going to stop you from planning, Caroline."

"The nation's greatest logistical manager is not the sexy girlfriend sobriquet I was hoping for."

"The nation's greatest logistical manager, who happens to be the sexiest woman I've ever met?" asked Kate.

"Much better," conceded Caroline. "Still needs work, but much better."

"So," replied Kate, "If your ego's sufficiently massaged, how are you going to plan us out our current chaos?"

Caroline paused. "Establish critical decision pathways..." she said.

"Would you believe me if I told you that you were sexy when you spoke management speak?" asked Kate.

"Well, I'd want to." admitted Caroline. "However, I haven't completely lost touch with reality. But seriously, Kate, I want to know - what do you think our critical decisions are? Long term, we know we want to be together, be a family together. But near term is where all the crazy is. What do we have to decide near term - before the baby comes?"

"Hmm," said Kate. "One house or two? I hate living out of a suitcase."

"If it's one house, then I'd want mine because of Laurence but yours because of the piano."

"The piano?"

"I love listening to you when you play at night." confessed Caroline. "I miss it when you're at mine."

"I didn't think you could even hear me." teased Kate. "You seem so engrossed in National Education reports. Caroline made a face.

"We could do mine and save yours for weekends when John has Laurence." offered Caroline. "You could think about what you want to do with it in the meanwhile."

"Could I sell it and buy John out?" asked Kate. "We could stay at yours then. Move the piano."

"I don't think so, Kate." said Caroline. "I don't think it'd be enough. But I don't know now that I'd want to."

"Really?" Kate was surprised. "But I thought..."

"I know," Caroline interrupted her. "I was fixated before. Obsessed, really. I rushed us. And then I lost you and then the house didn't seem so important. It seemed like a curse sometimes, to be honest. It couldn't console me for losing you. Some nights I felt like it was mocking me. All I wanted was you and all I had was this big perfect thing I'd finished making years ago. Probably the wine talking more than the house. But it became a bit of a tomb. Stuck me in a past I didn't want anymore. And blocked me from the future I did want and couldn't seem to get to."

"I had no idea." said Kate. "Oh, Caroline," she said sympathetically, putting a hand to Caroline's cheek, "I'm so sorry."

"Don't be. I have a family now. You and Laurence and the baby. William when he's home. No. That's not quite right, either. I had a family with John. But with you, it's different. We're a team. John and I - we never were a team. More like allies. We each pursued what we wanted and then I did what it took to make it look to the world like we were a team.

"With you - well I think that being crazy in love with you is a big difference."

"Duly, noted." smiled Kate.

"Seriously, Kate." said Caroline. "I don't care so much what it looks like. I'm more concerned about what it is. Are you happy and healthy? I'm worried that you're unsettled just when you should be feeling most settled. And that's just you."

"Are the boys ok?" she continued. "William's off at university, and I don't worry about him being affected by home so much. I just worry about him being off at university. But Laurence - his life's gone from the Appleyards to Queer as Folk in the blink of an eye."

Kate laughed. "You know, you'd have to explain those references to him, don't you."

Caroline laughed, too. "First of all, Sweetheart, I thought you'd taken it upon yourself to make me feel young, not dated."

"Nope." said Kate. "You're taken - no dating for you." She pointed her finger and thumb like a gun and pretend to blow across the barrel. "McKenzie scores easily," she said, imitating a sports announcer.

Caroline laughed again. "Second of all, I'm serious here. Ever since you told me about the baby, I've thought about what I'd do if I could ever get you back again. I knew long before Christmas that I'd rather spend my time on you and the baby and the boys, doing things, being together. Not on House Beautiful schemes."

"You're lovely." said Kate suddenly. "Have I mentioned that lately? How lovely I think you are."

Caroline smiled. "It's an observation that bears infinite repetition, darling. I'll hear it as often as you care to say it." A pause, then Caroline chuckled. "Although, If I am to be absolutely honest, Kate, wherever we land, I wouldn't mind a decent kitchen."

"Duly noted." Kate said. "Housing decisions managed. Building a life together values agreed upon. Desire for a kitchen worth cooking in shared. Anything else? More critical decisions?" she asked with a grin.

Caroline nodded. She hesitated, not wanting to risk the sense of connection they'd found in the conversation. But, she continued. "I want to know when you're going to cut down at school. I know you're put in for maternity leave beginning Easter, but I'm concerned." She stopped and stole an anxious glance at Kate, whose lips had tightened into a thin, hard line. "Darling, please, don't be angry, talk to me."

"I don't want to be managed, Caroline. I'm not a child. It's my body, these are my decisions." There was a stoney silence in the car. Suddenly, the Yorkshire winter landscape seemed bleak beneath a cloudy afternoon sky and the atmosphere seemed to seep into the cabin of the car. Caroline shivered and wanted to retreat but knew she couldn't.

"I don't mean to make you feel like a child by asking these questions, Kate." she began slowly. "And she is your baby. And I know you've dreamt for her for years. But you can't tell me you want to know what I think and feel and then shut me out when you don't like what I say. And you can't tell me I'm yours forever, but only let me into the parts of your life that are easy for you to share. And you can't tell me she's ours when it suits you and yours when it doesn't. It will kill me and confuse the hell out of the baby." She stopped, surprised with her own honesty.

Kate quietly began to cry. "Oh darling," Caroline said when she saw the tears. "Please don't cry. You can have me anyway you want. You know that. I'd just like us to try to get this right - if we could." Caroline felt tears slipping down her own cheeks. She pulled a sharp breath between closed teeth and shook her head. "I'm not 'managing you,' Kate. But I am worried about you, and the baby. Your health, and hers. And I'd rather you set the terms by which you step back at school, not have them forced on you by the doctor.

"I know, I know." said Kate. "I'm sorry. I'm not used to sharing this." She took Caroline's hand from the steering wheel and held it for a moment in hers. Then she brought it to her lips and kissed it; then dropped it gently down again on the wheel. "It was always my thing, my desire, my mania, sometimes - no one else really got it. Even my mother. I've always been so alone with it. And now it's happening and I'm so afraid and I have you here to share with me and help me and I'm such a cold bitch when you try to. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Sweetheart, hush, don't. Don't beat yourself up. It's fear talking. Old habits. Just stick to the agenda. Critical decisions. Decide if you still want to work to Easter full time. If you want to work part time, decide when you want to go part time. That's all. Ask me my opinion if you want it. Talk to me about what you think, how you're feeling. Get the doctor's advice. Tell me your decision when you've made it."

"Thank you," sighed Kate. "I think I need some more time, but I will share this with you. I promise." She paused. "It's hard for me. And I think it's so odd that being so happy is so hard. I've wanted this baby for so long and I'd come to think I'd never have her. And I just about ruined us to get her."

"Hush, Kate. Shhh." murmured Caroline, reaching for Kate's hand. "You didn't ruin us. It's odd but I don't know that you could have or I could have. I'm starting to think good of us together is bigger than the foolishness we do separately. Not," she said with a smile, "that I feel any need for us to continue to test that particular limit."

"Do you think that's it?" asked Kate. "I feel like I've wanted you forever and didn't know it till I found you. And that got all mixed up with wanting the baby and finally being able to carry a child. She will be alright, by now don't you think?" she asked Caroline suddenly.

"Yes." said Caroline firmly. "I do. The doctor does. Just normal precautions and paying attention to your blood pressure. Kate, every mother has these worries. I was afraid with Laurence and I had had a perfectly fine pregnancy with William. You carrying a life within you that's not you - if you weren't frightened you wouldn't be human."

"Maybe that's it." nodded Kate. "But because of the others..."

Caroline squeezed her hand. "Because of the others you know all the details, every corner of the loss that you fear. I didn't, so it was more abstract, more general. Easier than when you can remember the particularity of the sorrow. Darling," she said after a bit, "I don't know that I can do anything about that pain. Except honor it. I don't want to deny it but I also don't want you to live in it when this baby will come and bring you, bring us, so much joy. She won't erase the loss of the others. But she could redeem that sorrow for you."

"Maybe that's it." said Kate. "Maybe I'm afraid this happiness is a betrayal. But that has to be wrong." She started to weep again.

"Oh, Kate. Happiness can never be a betrayal of love. Trust me on this. Redemption, affirmation, incarnation - yes. Betrayal, never."

They were quiet for awhile and then Kate sighed and laughed and finally said, "You know, I think I'm done with critical pathway decisions for the day. Could we have some mundane, ephemeral decisions?"

"Well, mundane to you maybe, but there are several decisions of immediate urgency that are of vast importance to me." objected Caroline with a smile.

"What?" asked Kate.

"What's for take-away and what's for tv. If you choose the dinner, I get the film - and you know that means a musical - Sound of Music?"

"Caroline, please." shuddered Kate. "Not another Rogers and Hammerstein."

"You'd prefer, My Fair Lady?" asked Caroline with a laugh.

"How about I chose the dinner and you get wild passionate sex?" offered Kate. The were quite for a moment. Kate grinned and Caroline pursed her lips.

Finally, Caroline said, "I have no idea why you worry that I manage you, Kate." I mean really, I feel like a lamb to the slaughter, sometimes." There was a pause. "Very wild?" she asked.

"Very," promised Kate.


	4. Chapter 4 - A Fungus Among Us

They were exhausted. Organized, but exhausted. Caroline's master calendar for life, at least for Spring Term, was fully loaded and color coded. Her meetings and school events, Kate's choir practices and doctor appointments, Laurence's rugby matches and training. Just looking at some weeks on the calendar app on her phone made Kate dizzy. She reflected, not for the first time, that her life with Caroline seemed to operate either in fifth gear or sleep. She decided she would need to spend some time thinking about how best to resist this reality and when best to graciously yield to it.

Caroline, closing her laptop looked over to Laurence. "One more item." she said. "It only goes on the shared calendar if you want it to."

"I know, I know." he sighed.

"What?" asked Kate. "I thought we were done."

"School project calendars." said Laurence, with no small distaste in his voice.

"Oh." said Kate, not sure what minefield of family drama lay ahead.

"What's on this semester?" Caroline asked, neutrally. Mother and son were in unchartered territory. Laurence knew his mother knew, or could easily find out, what the term projects were. John used to ask the question, but John wasn't there anymore. If Laurence were honest, the last year or two, John hadn't really been focused on Laurence's projects either. But Laurence didn't want to think too deeply on the topic of his father's parenting. So he pretended a bit that his Mum didn't know, just as she pretended.

"History." he said. "That's a group project. Angus will probably want to build a trebuchet or a crossbow or something. That will be fine. He paused. "And biology." He sighed. "I think that's a solo job. I'm buggered if I'm going to survive the term."

"Why?" asked Caroline. The question was sincere. She was often a judge for the various competitions at school around student work. John had coached the boys and she had consciously held herself back from the effort, both to salve her conscience and to leave father and sons some space."

"Biology's not my subject." Laurence said shortly.

"Well, you always do well enough in it." she observed.

"Yes, but, it's fine when your just memorizing stuff for tests. But I don't find myself thinking very creatively about it." He sighed again. "Part of the project is a proposal for the project itself. It's so unfair. I have to come up with idea for the project, not just do one."

"I take it," asked Caroline, "we're a bit beyond cutting up worms to see if they'll regrow.

"God, Mum," Laurence snorted. "What century do you live in? It's all "active and engaged learning" now. Bloody flipped classrooms."

Kate considered that Caroline had been a leader in the curricular revolution that led to Laurence's predicament. Caroline had published articles, organized conference and been invited to give talks on inquiry based learning even in the foundational years of disciplinary curricula. The look on Caroline's face informed her that now would not be the best time to share the knowledge with Laurence.

"When's the proposal due?" asked Caroline.

"Next Monday." He offered an almost tragic sigh that required both Kate and Caroline to steel their smiles into submission. There was a pause as the three considered Laurence's dilemma. Finally, Kate stood up and began to gather mugs and plates to take to the dishwasher.

"Laurence," she said. "I don't think I'd be much good to you in the science department in general. But I can give you a backup plan in case you don't think of something by Monday."

"Kate," said Laurence kindly, "I don't think a comparative history of French and British biology will cut it."

"No, no. Not that." said Kate. "But," she wandered away from the main topic as Laurence had come to realize, she often did on subjects that engaged her imagination, "there's more than a small amount of interesting stuff about the exchange between British and French naturalists in the late 18th and early 19th centuries." Her voice seemed to soften in wonder as she thought a moment. "Joseph Banks and Kew Gardens, Leclerc and le Jardin du Roi - they'd make an interesting comparison. I'm sure somebody's done something on it." She came back to herself. "I'm sorry, I digress. What was I saying?"

Caroline hid a second smile as Laurence patiently prompted her, "Plan B?"

"Oh yes. Yes. Well, if you haven't come up with anything else, you could always do bread."

Now Caroline did not restrain her smile. But she did bite back the word 'brilliant.' She knew this was Kate's idea to sell. She hoped Kate was game to shepherd Laurence for the term if followed her lead.

"Bread?" Laurence asked.

"Bread." said Kate firmly. "Best biology project in human history. Unless you count beer, which really was genius. But I doubt the Head's going to let Year 11s doing home-brew projects for credit."

Caroline laughed. "Your doubts are deserved. She's a really stick in the mud from what I hear."

Laurence groaned. "My chance for glory dashed again. Do you realize how popular I'd be?"

"I'd rather you earn your glory on the playing field like an Englishman," his mother laughed.

"Actually," said Kate, "bread and beer have far more in common than you'd think. The key is yeast."

"Yeast?" asked Laurence.

"Yes, yeast. Now there's a fungus for the ages for you, Laurence. Caroline," she seemed to switch gears suddenly, "what did we do with the books I bought in Leeds?"

"Still in the bag on the floor of my office, I think." said Caroline.

"Hang on, Laurence," said Kate, dropping the mugs and plates on the counter, disappearing into Caroline's office. Mother and son looked at each other in shared confusion.

"Here we go," said Kate returning, three books in one hand and the empty bag swinging from the other. She dropped the bag and carried the books over to the table.

"Almost everything worth knowing about bread, right here." She pointed to her purchases, "English Bread and Yeast Cookery," "Crust and Crumb," and "Flour, Water, Salt, Yeast." Turning to Caroline, she said, "Not to get off topic, but you have a national library of cookbooks here and you don't have Elizabeth David or Peter Reinhart or Ken Forkish." Digressing again she said, "Reinhart, even Forkish, I see. If you're not much of a bread maker you wouldn't have to know him, but Davis - really Caroline, what happened?"

Caroline felt oddly defensive in her own kitchen. "I, don't bake bread," she half asked, half asserted.

Kate looked at her with genuine puzzlement. "I find that baffling." she admitted. "Anyway, these are my contribution to your collection. I meant to wrap them for you, but I think, Laurence needs them more urgently than you."

Turning to Laurence, she added. "Read the introductions - they have great overviews on the history of bread, on the absolute primacy of yeast in the story of human survival, some good stuff on grain cultivation, too. It's epic, really. If you want to do a project on it, come with me to the Farmer's Market on Saturday. We can get supplies for the hunting of the yeast."

Laurence wasn't sure if she was trying to help or convert him, but thought it best to take the books.

"If you're interested, I can lend you my H. E. Jacobs. That's the gospel on bread history."

Laurence nodded, somewhat bravely, Caroline thought, and cleared his throat. "How are you going to hunt yeast?" he asked cautiously.

"With apples, of course." she said.

"Right." said Laurence. "Of course."

Kate smiled at him and laughed at herself. "It's brilliant, trust me."

"You wouldn't consider a trip to the baking supplies aisle at Sainsbury's?" asked Caroline, a bit alarmed at the fervor that had seemed to take possession of Kate.

"Would you buy your footwear at Schus? asked Kate, scornfully. Caroline, as Kate knew, wouldn't. So she thought it best to leave the ball in Laurence's court. Laurence, thinking Kate had dealt his mother a rather harsh blow was surprised to see his mother gaze at her with unguarded affection.


	5. Chapter 5 - Music of the Night

On Friday, Caroline announced as Laurence sat like a zombie over his cereal and Kate stood calmly drinking her coffee, looking absently at the morning sun glinting off the skim of snow in the garden, "Oh, change of plans. I have a regional heads meeting in York this morning."

"What?" asked Kate. "You didn't mention this when we..."

"Were doing the calendars," finished Caroline. I know, I know. Completely slipped my mind. Sorry, but I'm going directly to the meeting." Both Kate and Laurence look at Caroline very closely.

"Would you mind driving Laurence in for me, Kate?" she asked.

"Not at all," said Kate.

"Ok with you Laurence?" his mother asked.

Laurence, nodded. "I've a couple of questions about fermentation that I want to ask Kate about anyway."

"Caroline," said Kate suddenly. "This is very unlike you. Is everything ok?"

Caroline laughed. "Of course it is. It just slipped my mind. I'll see you both after school."

xxXxx

"Close your eyes," said Caroline. "Laurence, mind she doesn't cheat."

"Caroline," Kate protested, "what has gotten into you?"

"Careful on the step," Laurence warned, as Caroline shepherded the trio into the sitting room.

"Laurence," Kate demanded. "Do you know what this about?"

"Not a clue." he admitted. "This is really your own fault, Kate," he added, holding out his arm for Kate to lean on as she groped her way gamely down the stair. "Mum was quite boring till you came along. Now it's surprise city almost every day on Conway drive."

"Is that a compliment, Laurence?" Kate asked with a chuckle.

"Just an observation," he deadpanned, walking Kate to the spot Caroline indicated.

"Oh, Mum!" he exclaimed, seeing the surprise. "Well done!"

"Alright, ready?" Caroline asked.

"Caroline, it's your surprise - how am I supposed to know if I'm ready?" Kate laughed. "Should I open?"

"Yes, please." Caroline held her breath as Kate took in the newly ensconced Yamaha digital piano.

"I wanted you to have something to play here. And we couldn't move yours back and forth, obviously, and I thought this would be a reasonable compromise. And the fellow at the shop said this one would be best for someone who knows what they're doing. Good action or something.

"Good action's important." said Kate with a grin. She stepped forward and touched the keys. "You want the sensation of tactile feedback when you play," she explained, seemingly quite serious.

"Well, for a pianist, surely that's important." Caroline agreed, not daring to look at Laurence. "It's a rental. I've been going back and forth with the shop all week and they agreed to deliver it this morning."

"Regional heads meeting, Mum?" teased Laurence.

"Well, yes, Laurence, if you must know. Kate, I'm sorry I'm such a rubbish liar, but I wanted to surprise you and I didn't know till yesterday that they'd be able to deliver it and set it up this morning. We can have them take it back if you hate it and I know I should have asked you but I was afraid you'd say I was being extravagant. It's just I love listening to you play..." Her voice trailed off.

Kate stepped over and kissed her quickly. "Darling, it's wonderful." She took her hand and turning, said, "Laurence, this is your five second alert before full scale girlfriend happiness happens here. This is not a drill."

"Thanks for the heads-up," he laughed. "Do you think you could distract her while I grab a snack."

Kate smiled. "I'm on it. Please leave some food for the rest of us and room for your dinner." She turned back to Caroline and drew her into her arms. Laurence left with alacrity.

"You," she said, punctuating her words with quick kisses, "are wonderful. Extravagant, but wonderful."

"Just want to be sure you have enough good action." giggled Caroline.

"And tactile feedback," Kate whispered in her ear.

xxXxx

Caroline found Kate already in bed, propped up against a reading pillow, raised knees supporting a book. Rather than climb into the bed, she sat down beside Kate. "Good book?" she asked, reaching into to brush a wayward lock back behind Kate's ear.

Kate raised her eyes to Caroline, but her inner focus was still on the page.

"Lovely." said Kate. "Well, no. Hard. Well, yes. I like her stuff." As if seeing Caroline for the first time, she shook her head. "Sorry," she apologized with a lopsided smile.

"Don't be," said Caroline. "I interrupted you."

"I was just waiting for you. Thought I'd read some poetry."

"Who?" asked Caroline.

"Martha Sprackland."

"Don't know her. Well, to be fair, I don't know much poetry. Beyond stuff from school. What's she like?"

"Good. I like poets whose language is simple but whose ideas are complicated. Shall I read you some?"

"If you'd like." Caroline felt a bit unbalanced, a bit uncertain. Kate, she realized as Kate flipped through her book till she found the poem she was looking for, had never read to her before.

"Here it is. It's called _Biro_."

"Biro?" laughed Caroline. "Like the pen?"

Kate smiled. "Yes, really. Listen."

I made you into cats, birds, fish.

I made you into a house

for us to nest in.

I turned you into aeroplanes

and ships,

laughed at your impatience.

"Do you like?" asked Kate. She put the book on the bedside table and reached out to touch her hand against Caroline's cheek.

"I do." Caroline admitted. "I'm not sure I understand it, but it makes me want to read more." She thought a bit and asked, "What does it mean?"

"That," said Kate with a smile, "is for you to tell me."

"Brat!" exclaimed Caroline and leaned in to kiss Kate quickly.

Kate kissed her then patted the bed beside her. As Caroline scrambled around her and snuggled against her, she said, "Seriously, I think it's the way poetry works. You work out your idea and I work out mine and then we talk about it. If I just told you mine, you'd be reading my idea of the poem, not the poem."

"Well, said Caroline, "as I say, I'm a novice in the poetry department."

"Didn't John ever read poetry to you?" asked Kate.

"Nope. John was more of a prose man. Of course he didn't read me any prose, either. I'm sure he read poets, but it wasn't something he shared with me."

"More fool, he." said Kate with a snort. Caroline laughed and the sound of her laughter set a thin flame of desire running beneath Kate's skin.

"John wasn't a romantic sort of husband. You, on the other hand, are the most romantic partner a girl could dream for." She turned her head to kiss Kate lightly on the pocket of the pajama top that covered the breast that had been serving as Caroline's pillow. Kate found herself deeply aroused. Her ears closed to sound and her eyes to light. She took a deep breath to steady her nerves. They didn't steady much.

"Don't go saying that to all the girls." she admonished, her voice a little husky.

"Don't worry, darling. The odds of me find another woman who'll take me shoe shopping all afternoon and play show tunes for me on the piano all night are vanishingly small - I'm not about to blow a good thing."

"Least I could do," said Kate. "You did spring for the piano."

"I know, but you hate show tunes," said Caroline.

"Well," Kate objected slowly, "I don't hate them. I've just played them to death." She bent her head to kiss Caroline's brow. Course I've never played them for you, so that helps quite a bit."

"When did you play them to death? You never have the choir sing any." asked Caroline.

"Nor shall I ever. Don't even bother coming to me with concert requests from wealthy donors and potty governors. It will never happen." warned Kate.

"Duly noted." laughed Caroline. "But something must have caused this aversion."

"I played in a wedding band at university." explained Kate with a sigh.

Caroline thought of Kate playing "Till There Was You" in parish halls in Durham on Saturday evenings and started to chuckle. When she looked at Kate's face, she bit back her laughter. "No wait, don't tickle me. Please. I want to tell you something."

"What?" asked Kate.

"It's just." Caroline sighed a sigh of pure pleasure. "I'm not sure I've spent as lovely an evening as this in years. You playing. Laurence reading. Dear God in heaven, Laurence reading. You've started something with this bread business."

"We'll see." said Kate. "It's up to him - he may become a slave to the mysteries of photosynthesis. I don't want to get my hopes up just yet."

"Well," said Caroline with a smile. "I just wanted to say it. You've made feel very loved tonight. And it feels wonderful. So, thank you."

"So," said Kate, "you're welcome." She turned off the bedside light and bent down to kiss Caroline more purposefully. And Caroline discovered that the evening had yet more pleasure to offer.

**_Martha Sprackland, Biro, Caverdine Magazine, 2008 [you can find it on the web, but I'll be buggered if I can make the url work here]_


	6. Chapter 6 - Queen of Sheba

Kate put the sticky buns that she and Laurence had picked up at Cooplands on the way home the day before on a platter and stacked tea plates, cups, cutlery and napkins before it. When she heard Celia's knock on the window, she put the kettle on and called out, "Come in Celia, door's open," with as much brightness as she could muster.

Laurence thundered into the kitchen the minute he heard his Gran's knock. Celia smiled a gentle, happy smile, all her prickly edges soothed and softened for a moment by sheer affection. The boys summoned it from their grandmother effortlessly. Caroline sometimes felt that she hadn't won this smile without a pitched battle in over a decade. Kate doubted she ever would. To be fair, the boys didn't keep the smile very easily or long.

"Mum! Gran's here! Kettle's on! Sticky buns on a platter! What's taking you so long?"

Kate and Celia laughed as Caroline called down the stairs, "Be right there, Laurence - and don't you dare start without me."

"It's alright," Laurence, said Kate. The water has to boil and the tea has to steep before we can attack the buns.

"I don't find that a comfort, Kate." No comfort at all." He dropped the rugby magazine he was carrying on the counter and walked to the refrigerator out of habit.

"Tu rêves, mon ami, tu rêves." Kate murmured and Laurence grinned and turned the corner of the island, walking to Celia, whom he hugged.

"Well played, Laurence." Celia laughed. "Very well played indeed."

Kate was a stickler for the proper preparation of a pot of tea. Caroline thought some divine guardian had invented tea bags for working mothers. Kate's tea was better and Celia found herself delighted to be able to have Kate as an ally in this long-standing family dispute. Discomforted, but sometimes delighted - It was her response to so many of her interactions with her daughter's partner.

God what horrible words homosexuals had: lesbian, partner, civil union - all clinical and legal. The good words: marriage, husband, wife - well, they didn't quite fit and the new one's didn't seem to Celia to have the solid echo of tradition when you spoke them. She couldn't help but put imaginary quotes around the words whenever she used them with Alan or Muriel. She felt like she was citing a government sanitary regulation. Alan didn't seem to have this problem. But Alan did not seem to need the categories that organized Celia's approach to the world. Caroline's partner was simply Kate. Alan loved Kate because he loved Caroline. He loved Caroline because he loved Celia. He was man for the essentials, was Alan.

"Rugby today?" Celia asked Laurence, silencing these unsettling thoughts.

"Nope. First match is next weekend. Wetherby High. First home match is the weekend after. St. Peters. Coming, Gran?" teased Laurence.

"Actually, Laurence," said Celia slowly, "Alan is very keen to go to watch you play."

"Really?" asked Laurence, surprised.

"Yes." said Celia. "He'll want to go to all your home matches."

"Will you come too?" asked Laurence.

"Oh, yes. In fact, I came over this morning hoping for a little chat to catch you up," said Celia. The kettle whistled and Kate turned to make the tea.

"How," Celia asked Laurence, "would you like a special legacy in my will?"

After a beat, Laurence replied, "It's so wonderful that you come to all my home matches, Gran."

"Exactly." smiled Celia. "I always said you were the bright one."

"That kind of loving, constant support from a grandparent really lets a lad feel good about himself." he continued.

"Don't go over the top, Laurence, Celia, warned, laughing.

"Gran, I've got just the ticket." said Laurence suddenly. He dashed up stairs. "Sorry, Mum," floated in the air as he almost knocked over Caroline, who was coming down.

"What's gotten in to him?" she asked, entering the kitchen.

"Just a bit of inter-generational bonding, love. Nothing to worry about." said Celia with a laugh.

"It's precisely the kind of bonding I do worry about." retorted Caroline.

"Of course you do." nodded Celia. "We share a common enemy." Kate laughed out loud. After a moment, Caroline did too.

"Two minutes," warned Kate as Caroline reached for the teapot.

"You two are up early," observed Celia.

"We're off to Murton for the farmers market," explained a disappointed Caroline. She set herself about serving up buns on plates.

"Here you go, Gran," said Laurence, returning with an SH rugby scarf. "I do love it when you wear it to my matches."

"Clever lad." laughed Celia.

"You never go to any of Laurence's matches," objected Caroline.

"She has since Alan's decided he wants to go to some," explained Laurence.

"Mum!" exclaimed Celia.

"Stick to your own knitting, Caroline." said Celia sharply. "Will you be going to Laurence's rugby, Kate?" she asked, pointedly changing the direction of the conversation.

"Of course," smiled Kate, offering her a cup. "If Laurence will come to my farmers markets, the least I can do is go to his matches. Not," she said after a pause, "that I'll have the least understanding of what's happening on the field."

"It's all right dear," they never expect the women to understand." chuckled Celia. "They're just thrilled you show up. Thanks love," she added as Kate handed her a cup of tea. Caroline and Laurence shared a sigh of relief.

"Oh, I don't know," said Kate. "Hardly seems fair. Laurence, any recommendations - Rugby Rules for Latecomers?"

"Just cheer when Mum does," he suggested, having hastily swallowed what seemed like an entire bun. "She'll know what's going on."

"Really?" asked Kate in surprise. "You have hidden depths, Dr. Elliot."

"Well I was hardly going to let him play a game I didn't understand," said Caroline discomforted by the attention.

"Parents today," sighed Celia, "My generation would never have survived, the standards you set."

"No, seriously. How did you go about it?" Kate asked Caroline.

"I watched matches with Laurence on the telly and made him explain the play to me until I understood it." Caroline explained, still feeling embarrassed.

Celia leaned over and patted her hand. "You know, love, you really are much better than I ever give you credit for."

"It's not that hard," Caroline protested, refusing the compliment. "Think about it. It's a game men play."

"Mum," protested Laurence, "ouch! And besides, girls play Rugby, now"

"Oops. Sorry, Laurence, you manly youth, you." Laurence grinned at her and struck a boxer's pose. Caroline gave him a quick kiss on the forehead. "You are the best, you know." He turned beet red and stared at his shoes. "But really," continued Caroline to Kate and Celia. "Basically they're just trying to move a ball from one end of the field to the other. The rules are designed to keep the violence below lethality levels and make things seem more complicated than they actually are."

"Mum!" Laurence protested, half in earnest, half in jest. "You're forgetting the critical role of strategy."

"Ah, right." said Kate. "Strategy. I'll probably need to read up on that. I think in the meanwhile, I'll simply pepper Laurence with questions on the way to the farmers market."

"You're going to Murton, too?" Celia asked Laurence in surprise.

"Yes," he said, feeling excited and a bit awkward about feeling excited. "I'm going to do bread for my biology project. Kate's going to show me."

"You have to go to Murton for bread?" Celia asked. "You couldn't just go to Sainsburys?"

Caroline laughed heartily, to Celia's confusion.

"Actually," said Kate. "We're going to Murton for the apples."

"Apple bread?" asked Celia even more mystified.

"No," explained Laurence. "We used the apples to gather the wild yeast. We use the yeast to make the bread."

"You're making the bread?" Celia asked.

"Yes." explained Laurence. "The project's on the science of bread making."

"Good job you have Kate, then." said Celia. "Caroline'd be no use to you at all." Caroline reddened as they all laughed.

"Mum, that's hardly fair," she protested. "I don't believe I ever saw you make a loaf of bread in my life."

"That's because you didn't." admitted Celia with a laugh. "I never held with it. Even my Mum only baked for holidays. Always bought in the shop. They had the ovens. But you're a baker, Kate?" she asked.

"I am. Haven't done much recently. You need more than one mouth to go to the bother of baking. But Laurence looks like he can handle the bread consumption duties for me." Kate smiled at Laurence. Celia wondered whether Kate was referring to the months that she and Caroline had been apart, or to her single years, or if she wasn't trying to make a point at all. She wondered if Kate and her mother had entire conversations without either trying to score a point. Conversations like that would bore her to tears. God bless her Caroline, she thought. She was never boring.

"I am willing to suffer for science, Kate." Laurence said with mock seriousness, interrupting Celia's train of thought.

"Funny world." mused Celia in a distracted voice. "In my day we were thrilled to buy store bought and today, homemade's become a labor of love for you lot." Suddenly all business, Celia finished her tea. "Well, I'm off. We promised Gillian we'd keep an eye on Calamity today. Something about ewes has her occupied." Turning to Kate, she said, "Lovely cuppa, Kate." To Caroline, "you could take a lesson, love." And with a bit of a flurry, taking her new, old, rugby scarf and folding it carefully into her pocket lest Alan spy it, she was gone.


	7. Chapter 7 - Secret Sauce

Caroline heard the last of their conversation before they realized she had come in. She had a chance to observe them before Laurence and Kate realized she was there. Never, she thought, had she regularly experienced so much ephemeral frustration and so much bone deep pleasure in the same moment as during the last two weeks. Laurence was standing at the counter, writing in the notebook Kate had bought for him, stopping to take pictures of Kilner jars filled with disgusting looking levains with his iPhone. He had commandeered at least two feet of counter space for bread starters and half a shelf of refrigerator space as well. He found himself compelled to mark his territory in each locale with a sign made from notebook paper and red marker that read, "Laurence's biology experiment. Touch at your own peril."

Celia had assumed it was something rotten one night helping clean up after Sunday dinner and dumped a particularly pungent poolish down the garbage disposal and set the jar in the dishwasher before anyone could stop her. He chose to bear the loss stoically, for which Caroline was very grateful, and thus felt obliged to endure the havoc inquiry based learning was wreaking on her kitchen.

"It's ridiculous what they want for car seats. And the options. They make it impossible to compare." Kate complained to Laurence, looking up from her laptop. She was standing. Standing. Not sitting with her legs elevated. Caroline felt a flash of irritation. The whole point of Kate cutting back her hours at school was to take more rest. It was not to stand at the kitchen counter chattering away with Laurence. But Kate had been gracious in conceding that she had been absolutely pigheaded over her refusal to talk about her plans to transition to maternity leave when she finally did talk to Caroline about the decision. (This is how Caroline characterized the conversation to herself, not Kate.) And thus Caroline, unobserved, felt obliged to bite her tongue and summon a smile as she observed Kate and Laurence for a few moments more.

"Go for convenience," Laurence advised.

"I hate wasting money," Kate responded. "Look," she said, turning the laptop around, "this one has a very handy setup that lets you rock the baby in the carrier. You know, if you're sitting and talking. You just tap this bar with your foot. But it doesn't fit into any stroller contraptions." Laurence frowned. "What?" she asked.

"Well," he began slowly. "I'm trying to imagine the setting in which the baby's ever going to sit in a carrier on the floor. Here? With Mum and me and you and Gran and Alan?"

"No. No. You're right there," agreed Kate, smiling warmly as she imagined the sitting room or the kitchen crowded with family members passing the baby from one doting relation to the next."

"At your Mum's? or Gillian's? Even with Calamity - maybe especially with Calamity, it will be baby swap city all the time."

Now smiling broadly, Kate conceded the point. "Perhaps, you're right. We won't need the fancy rocking carrier."

"Mum!" Laurence shouted when he saw is mother at last. "Thank heavens. I'm wasting away here. Slaving away at my lab bench and Kate won't allow me so much as a single biscuit."

"Caroline," said Kate, turning around with a delighted smile. "Laurence has been pestering me for biscuits and asking me all sorts of ungodly questions about the scientific method for hours." She imitated his tone exactly and earned a belly laugh from him and a chuckle from Caroline who put the shopping bag she was carrying on the stool next to Kate.

"Shopping. No wonder you were late," harrumphed Laurence.

"There's an item in there for you, O mighty mad scientist. Don't be so quick to judge," she admonished.

"For me?" asked Laurence. "From the Turkish Baths and Spa?" There was a note of concern in his voice.

"No. Your package is from Waterstone's. I just threw it in the bag from Turkish Baths." She reached in and handed him a book and a dvd. "It's a book and video by a crazy American engineer who took up artisanal bread making as his retirement hobby. I thought you might enjoy them."

"Cool," said Laurence. "Thanks, Mum. He leaned over to kiss her cheek. Will I be able to watch the DVD if it's US?

"I can show you how to rip that, Laurence," said Kate.

"The rest are skin care lotions and potions for third trimester mums," Caroline continued – "one of whom has gone from Luddite to computer geek in record time," she added in some confusion.

"Well, I'm not a Luddite about stuff I need for class. Ripping foreign dvds is pretty tame stuff for language faculty. But thanks for the skin care products, darling." Kate, too, leaned over to kiss Caroline.

"I'll show you how to use them later." said Caroline. Kate smiled when she saw Caroline looking at her son who was flipping through the bread book, oblivious to the conversation of their eyes.

"That would be very nice." Kate said quietly. "Thank you."

"Right," said Caroline, drawing a sharp breath. "So, what's the plan? Anyone for takeaway?"

"No need." said Kate. "Laurence made pizza dough and I prepped the fixings."

"Well, lovely, then." said Caroline who thought that Laurence's damned inquiry based learning experience would add one stone or a new exercise regime to her life and that neither was an acquisition she had anticipated when she wrote the damned article about science education 20 years ago or desired now. "Why don't I take these things upstairs," she said, "removing the bag from the chair and pointing to it with the other, "while you sit here and rest and give Laurence any pizza creation points he may require."

Kate ducked her head and obeyed, saying with a cheeky smile as she left the room. "Yes, Miss."

When she returned the table was set and Laurence was rolling out the dough. Bowls with red sauce, sautéd peppers, caramelized onions, slices of mozzarella, grated parmesan, Italian sausage and tomato sat on the counter behind him.

"You look comfy." Kate said as Caroline, in jeans and tailored chamois shirt, poured herself a glass of wine. "I'll feel comfy in a bit," she smiled. "I just have to process my contradictory emotions."

"Oh, no." Kate said, "What's the matter?"

"Well," explained Caroline. "I'm quite concerned at the amount of work you must have done in the kitchen today," she said pointing at the counter filled with bowls. "But I'm thrilled that Laurence has decided against tossing pizza dough in the air in my kitchen."

"No worries, Ma," said Laurence. "It's a zero/infinity problem. If I messed up, we wouldn't have dinner and since I'm on such short rations since Kate started coming home early, I dare not risk it." Caroline laughed out loud.

"Ha." she said, putting her arm around Kate's shoulders. "If I could just persuade you to keep Kate seated when you got home so that when I come home I could persuade myself she's been resting all afternoon, we'd have perfect harmony. I love you and I'm very proud of you, Laurence," she added. "I've told you that recently, right."

"Biscuits would win my affection more easily than affirmations, but yes, you've been hitting my self-esteem quotient nicely as of late."

Later, both Kate and Caroline had the opportunity to praise Laurence's prowess in the kitchen. Caroline cleared the table, glaring Kate back into her seat and waiving off Laurence's offer to help. "The cook never cleans. It is the key to happiness in every household. Plus, you're weirdly neat in the kitchen. It won't be much work."

"Weirdly, Mum?" asked Laurence.

"Have you looked at your bedroom lately, Laurence," Caroline asked.

"Let me take this opportunity to change the subject a bit," Laurence replied. "Have you considered buying a pizza stone, Mum? And a peel?"

"No. Can't say that I have." Caroline replied. "Why should I?"

"Better crust on the stone. Easier to load, slice and serve on the peel. We probably also should get a pizza slicer." Laurence had clearly anticipated the conversation.

"I have a peel and slicer," offered Kate. "We can pick them up tomorrow when your Mum and I are out shopping."

"We're going shopping?" asked Caroline.

"Yep." said Kate. I think this is the weekend of the car seat. Perhaps also, the stroller. If we feel emboldened, we may go so far as to consider a bassinet." Caroline smiled warmly at Kate. She hid her sigh of relief. It had taken Kate awhile to focus on these things and she felt timid about nudging her.

"It sounds momentous," laughed Laurence. "You know, if you're anywhere near Killinghall, you could stop at Cooking Fantastic for a pizza stone."

"Ok, laughed Caroline," after the bassinet, the pizza stone. Why do you need one?"

"It heats the dough more like a masonry oven would." At Caroline's obvious lack of comprehension, he explained, "You know, wood fired ovens. Their brick and masonry." They can get higher temperatures and they hold moisture so the crust develops differently. As in better."

"Oh," said Caroline. "I didn't know that. What's the alternative?"

"Well," said Laurence, with a grin. "We could hire someone to build us an oven for bread and pizza in the garden."

Caroline snorted. "And the alternative to that is a pizza stone for what, 10 quid?"

"I'm glad we agree, then," said Laurence triumphantly.

"Nicely played, Laurence," said Kate. Caroline had the grace to laugh, but raised her eyebrows when Kate continued. "It would make a great project though. Building your own clay oven."

"Kate!" Caroline exclaimed. "We're trying to sell this house."

"Who knows, Mum," Laurence observed. "It might add value." Caroline was so obviously biting back her retort that Kate and Laurence laughed.

"Ok. ok," said Kate. "Perhaps we're winding you up. But when we figure out the next house, it is something to think about. All that hearth baked bread and pizza right on our doorstep.

"All that walking and elliptical training to ward off the calories," replied Caroline.

"Perhaps we could table the argument for a bit." Laurence suggested. "I have some questions I have to ask you for my project that Kate has not been the oracle I'd hoped for."

"Such as," Caroline asked cautiously.

"Well," said Laurence. "I'd like to set up a spreadsheet to track my observations on the different levains. And I want to start doing surveys to see if I can see whether people notice the difference in taste depending on the source of the wild yeast."

"What," Kate asked the ceiling, doing her best Sarah Bernhardt, "would I ever use a spreadsheet for."

"Well Mr. Dobson uses them for his grade book." Laurence observed. "But, Mum, you can explain this stuff to me, can't you? I don't want to bother math teachers for a bio project." Caroline and Kate looked at each other for a moment. Kate pursed her lips, but Caroline smiled.

"Sure, love," she said, "no problem."

"Perhaps, I'll watch." said Kate. "But just remember, Caroline, you promised to show me how to use the skin care products. This can't turn into a seminar."

"Kate," objected Laurence. "It's not like it's rocket science."

"True," agreed Kate, "If Mr. Dobson can do it, I obviously can spread sheets with the best of them."

"You're probably right about that," observed Caroline, grinning.


	8. Chapter 8 - What's in a Name?

"He needs a hypothesis," Caroline exclaimed. For once, she was managing her passenger anxieties well. Admittedly, this was only because her anxieties about Laurence were overriding all other considerations. "He's collecting all this data without any clue of what he's testing." She sighed.

"Caroline," Kate replied calmly, "if the only thing Laurence needs in this world is a hypothesis, then you've done an extraordinarily good job parenting."

"Ha," Caroline laughed bitterly, "wait till he gets his next biology paper back. He won't be agreeing with you then."

"That's Ted's job, then, as his teacher - not yours. And Laurence's job to ask you for more help if he thinks he needs it."

"God, William was so much easier." Caroline sighed.

"I thought William hated science." Kate said, surprised.

"Precisely. It was nothing on or against me when he did well or when he did poorly. But Laurence..."

"What about Laurence?" Kate asked.

"Well, you know, I think he might be good at it," said Caroline, a bit of surprise in her voice.

"Stakes just got higher?" asked Kate.

"Precisely," said Caroline. "And, it's the first school project he's ever been so interested in."

"So are the stakes higher for him or for you." asked Kate.

Caroline paused and thought about the question. "Ouch," she said quietly.

"Let's just get him the pizza stone and hope that the bread this Sunday show's some improvement from last Sunday." Kate advised with a grin.

"Not dissimilar to a field hockey ball, last's week's offering was." Caroline said glumly.

"But," said Kate smiling, "on the plus side, he took careful notes and no one lost a tooth."

"True," said Caroline laughing, "and if the pizza last night is any indication, he seems to have a very steep learning curve."

"Apple, tree." said Kate with a smile.

xxXxx

Kate managed to walk up and down the aisles of Baby & Me, her checklist in hand, and look at the carriers, prams and bassinets without screaming. Caroline felt like this was a significant improvement over her performance in Hot Tots, which involved a hurried exit and tears in the carpark.

"Eight hundred pounds!" she almost shouted. "For a pram."

"Obscene." agreed Caroline. She had thought about trying to reason through the problem with Kate for about a nanosecond and then decided her job today was of a different nature.

"My god, my first car didn't cost eight hundred pounds."

Instead of saying, "two decades ago," Caroline said, "What are people thinking these days?"

"I've saved for years for this baby and I could blow through every penny in a store like that before we even bought nappies." Kate was moving from self-righteous indignation to economic fear. It was time for tea.

"Let's get a cuppa and talk about a budget," offered Caroline. Kate turned away from her and Caroline didn't know if it was anger or tears. But when Kate turned back, she had a hint of a grin.

"You're very good to me," she said.

"Thank you." said Caroline, modestly, looking at her shoes. It's just because you're absolutely wonderful. Any less so and who knows, I might be a total bitch."

"I doubt that," said Kate, leaning in to give her a quick kiss on the cheek. Caroline smiled.

"Does this mean I get to drive?" she asked.

"Yes, it does. Yes, indeed, it does." said Kate.

xxXxx

"This," said Kate, "feels unbelievably wonderful."

"Good," said Caroline. "That was my plan." She was giving Kate a massage with some of the lotions and potions from the Turkish Baths.

"Brilliant plan, brilliant execution." Kate sighed. She groaned quietly in pleasure as Caroline worked at the small of her back.

Caroline reminded herself that the massage was intended to be therapeutic. "I wonder," she said, half to herself, "if a heating pad would help you here. You're very stiff, darling. You could sit. With your feet raised. With the pad on your back. Which would feel lovely if you were, you know sitting. With your feet raised."

"Point made, Elliot." laughed Kate. Don't ruin your rhetorical effectiveness with repetition.

"Oh, I don't know," said Caroline absently. There's a certain magic in repetition."

"If I asked you about the baby's name, would you stop nagging me about sitting with my feet up?" asked Kate.

"Is that a rhetorical question you're using to divert me or do you really want to talk about the baby's name." Caroline asked.

"I don't know that I exactly want to talk about it. But I do feel we should show at least as much maturity as Raff and Ellie," sighed Kate.

"Perhaps a dollop more?" Caroline asked. "You know, pick the name before the baby's born?" Then, switching gears, "Turn over, sweetheart, and I'll do your front."

Kate rolled over slowly. Caroline sucked in her breath. "It boggles my mind that you're turned on," Kate laughed at Caroline's chagrin. "I feel like a small continent and you're acting like I'm some movie star."

Caroline turned to put more oil on her hands. "Bump first, and don't distract me" she said in her best Peggy Snow imitation. But the shake of her head belied the spark of passion that cut through her. "So," she continued, doggedly "what are you thinking of for names."

"I thought middle names could be our mums." said Kate.

"Yours goes first, then" said Caroline, as she gently massaged Kate's bump with a very expensive hydrolyzing crème which the girl at the counter had promised her would be earth shatteringly effective.

"Well, if we went alphabetically..." Kate objected.

"I think whoever has the fewest grandchildren should go first. Celia will be delighted to be remembered at all." Caroline concluded, hoping she was right. "First names?" Caroline asked.

"Oh, Caroline," Kate said, a little desperately, "I'm hoping you can help me out here. It must be the hormones, but - well, except for the Spice Girls, almost every name I hear sounds wonderful. I just can't decide."

"Maeve?" asked Caroline, testing her.

"See, that's what I mean," responded Caroline. "You say Maeve, and I think Celtic goddesses and Shakespeare and it sounds wonderful. I never think the little Nigerian kid at school whose crazy mother stuck her with an Irish name. I'll love it but she'll hate me if we call her Maeve."

"She couldn't hate you, Kate. And besides, she'd have to hate me too. We're in this together, right?"

"Right," agreed Kate with a smile. "So help me out here."

Ok," said Caroline cautiously. "What about Margaret? That's pretty middle of the road, boring, British."

"Oh, no," objected Kate. "It's a lovely, English Rose name. Princess Margaret. Grace Kelly, Cary Grant and glamorous movies from the 50s."

"Kate McKenzie you are the most romantic woman I have ever met," laughed Caroline. Kate grasped Caroline's hand.

"And don't you forget it, Sweetheart," she warned in a mock, menacing tone."

"As if," laughed Caroline, pulling Kate's hand to her lips. "Ok. Turn so yourself perpendicular on the bed, please."

"Why?" Kate asked, puzzled.

"Because I want to do up top - shoulders, breasts, forehead, cheeks. My only hope for restraint rests in the chance that you will be slightly less compelling at this angle. I f I do them leaning over you I will be incapable of focusing on the therapeutic nature of the activity. " Caroline explained.

"I could live with that." Kate said, grinning at her.

"And then our child shall be born nameless and I shall have absolutely no moral high ground from which to peer down on Gillian from, snotty bitch that I am," said Caroline.

"Couldn't have that," grumbled Kate as she rearranged herself on the bed.

"Darling," Caroline countered. "Calamity's taken. The next pet name will be something like 'Disaster.' I'm not having that. I'm simply not having that."

She paused and thought as she rubbed Kate's temples with her fingers, eliciting a series of small, happy, sighs that made her smile. "Ok," she said after a minute. "How about this. You love opera. What's your favorite opera?"

"Easy," said Kate. "Tristian and Isolde. Wagner. Hands down the most beautiful music in the world." Caroline paused and took a deep breath.

"Isolde?" she asked.

"Oh Caroline," exclaimed Kate, her eyes popping open. "That's perfect. It's so beautiful. And it's such a powerful name for a girl. She sang from the second scene of the first act:

Befehlen liess

dem Eigenholde

Furcht der Herrin

ich, Isolde!

Caroline swallowed and thought carefully about her next words, but before she could say anything Kate continued. "And you know what's perfect?" Kate asked.

"No, what?" Caroline's voice sounded absent-minded, to Kate, but inside it was shrieking.

"No nicknames! We wouldn't worry about the kids at school butchering her name into something awful." Kate said happily.

Caroline wondered if her own hormones had disconnected her so radically from the realities of human social existence when she was pregnant or if this was just a problem associated with the various obsessions of pregnant opera lovers.

"Um, Sweetheart," she said tentatively.

"Yes, love?" asked Kate absently as she thought happily about the name.

"Izzy?" asked Caroline gently. A great silent pause filled the room, broken at last by Kate's laughter, which grew and grew until Kate shook the bed.

"Ha!" she shouted. "I had you."

"Brat!" exclaimed Caroline.

"I really, really had you," she gasped between laughs. Caroline's emotions moved between chagrin and relief until she too was laughing. "Isolde!" Kate hooted.

"I'm sure if you're German it's a lovely name." said Caroline, a bit petulantly.

"It's a Celtic name, Caroline." Kate laughed.

"What is with you and Celtic names, Kate McKenzie?" Then they both laughed till tears rolled.

There were quieter laughs, punctuated by kisses which grew deeper until Kate reached to pull Caroline down beside her on the bed. But Caroline shook her off, pulling back with a quick kiss to the lips.

"No. We're not leaving this room till I've rehydrated every inch of your skin and we have a name for the baby. Otherwise you'll be complaining all day tomorrow of dry skin from the baby and the baby's will increasingly risk being called Disaster - or Dizzy for short."

"Dizzy," said Kate, rolling the name around a few times to tease Caroline.

"Don't get me started," warned Caroline.

"Ok then, well what names do you like?" asked Kate. It was the first time she asked Caroline this question and they both grew thoughtful with the weight of what she was sharing.

"Oh," said Caroline after some thought, "I think for me it would be Grace, choices one through ten."

"Really?" asked Kate, surprised by the depth of Caroline's feeling.

"Well," explained Caroline, "it's what she is, isn't it. A gift given freely, undeserved. The purest manifestation of love."

"Oh, Caroline," sighed Kate, "that's beautiful."

"And, you've wanted her for so long and waited and struggled for her so long. And I have too, since I saw her on the screen. I just fell in love with her in a moment. What's the C. S. Lewis poem - 'Surprised by Joy?" That's how I felt. Like she was a gift from a particularly benevolent deity. It's perfect for her.

"It is." agreed Kate.


	9. Chapter 9 - Weighty Matters

The cafeteria at Sulgrave Heath was not really within Caroline's domain. Formally, of course, the director, Mrs. Hawkins, reported to the Head. Cafeteria and kitchens of any scope, however, are really more like Roman client kingdoms than subordinate units in an organization reporting up the chain of command. As Caroline well knew, only within the very recently discovered space of middle class suburban life could anyone personally command a kitchen worth cooking in. At any workplace, a good manager hired a good senior chef and stayed out of the way. A vague possibility of intervention and termination if things went terribly awry kept most Head - Cook relations stable, productive and distant, the way most Heads and Cooks liked it. There were, Caroline knew, schools that hired food service companies to manage their cafeteria. She did not trouble to take the time to consider whatever failures of personality or organization could have prompted such an outcome.

Accordingly, when Beverly told her that Mrs. Hawkins was on Line 1, she picked up the phone and spoke in her most dulcet tones. "Sylvia, Hi, thanks for speaking to me. I know how busy you are."

"900 odd mouths to feed in an hour, Caroline." said Mrs. Hawkins, drily.

Caroline resisted the urge to ask, "not a boring plain vanilla in the lot of us?" and said "well, I won't keep you long. I'm just calling to let you know I'll be swinging by today. I need to ask Laurence a favor and I think he'll be more likely to grant it if he's been fed and watered."

"Caroline, you know you're always welcome." said Mrs. Hawkins pleasantly.

"Well thanks for that, Sylvia. But I just need to buttonhole Laurence and lunch seemed the best time." Caroline replied cordially.

"No problem. You'll find him making crazy science at the student activity table by the check in line." Mrs. Hawkins.

"What?" Caroline asked, confused.

"I'll let him explain it to you." Mrs. Hawkins said in a bemused voice. "I should thank you, though. My bakery staff were over the moon with his interviews," she laughed.

"Interviews?" Caroline's voice squeaked a little.

"Don't worry," said Mrs. Hawkins. "It was brilliant. Well, if that's all, I have a fire to put out."

"What?" Caroline's voice raised in alarm."

"Cook's joke, Caroline. Everything's fine," Mrs. Hawkins reassured her and hung up.

Caroline hung up the phone and drew in a steadying breath. There was no one more terrifying for an administrator to talk to than a good cook.

xxxXx

There was a bit of a stir when she graced the entrance to the dining hall, but not much. They were adolescents and they were hungry. The students stood patiently in two lines before a desk where a kitchen worker sat watching them swipe their id cards, occasionally intervening to help a student who had lost or demagnetized a card. It was incredibly noisy. Caroline hoped Sylvia paid the desk workers hazard zone bonuses. Against the entrance way walls stretched two tables where students sat beneath various signs that had been temporarily posted. "Biology project." "Sociology project." "Psychology project." Laurence sat beneath the biology project sign, handing out surveys and pencils. As Caroline looked around she realized Angus and Sam were distributing paper plates with small pieces of bread. Students sampled the bread, filled out the survey, returned to the line, swiped in and disappeared into the cafeteria. Other students engaged the sociology and psychology project with equal bonhomie and good behavior.

"Mum," Laurence said in surprise when he saw her. "What are you doing here?"

"Hullo, Laurence," Caroline smiled, "I'm looking for you? What's going on here?"

"I'm collecting data for my bio project." he explained. "No!" Laurence shouted in alarm when Angus offered Caroline a plate. "You'll skew the sample. I already have you in the surveys from home. Do you mind?" he asked in a calmer voice.

"No. No." Caroline placated him. "I'm all about good data sets." After a moment collecting her thoughts she asked, "Laurence, how did you get Mrs. Hawkins to agree to this?"

"Well I asked her, didn't I." said Laurence, very patiently, as though she were a particularly dense child. He sighed. "Mr. Edwards said that I needed a bigger sample size if I wanted to make any conclusions about the different levains. So I thought this would be the best place to grab people. So I asked Mrs. Hawkins and she said it'd be fine but she wanted to do all the projects at once or she'd but putting up tables for us all term. So I asked the different department heads what projects they were running and if anyone needed data collection and Sociology and Psych did so we're manning the tables together. It's brilliant, really," he observed. "People don't mind waiting in line so much now there's something to do."

"I can see." Caroline observed. "And the data collection is going well?"

"Great. My spreadsheets are crammed." He grinned. There was a pause as he waited for her to remember what she came for.

"Right." she said. "Well, I actually came to ask a favor..."

xxxXx

"Kate, darling, we're home! Where are you?" Caroline called from the front door.

"In here." Kate called from the lounge. "Beached like Leviathan on the sofa like I am every sodding afternoon at 4:00pm," she added in a much quieter voice.

Caroline came into the lounge and reached down to kiss her. "How was your day?" she asked softly. "I miss you at school. Coming home to you is the best part of my day."

Kate rolled her eyes. "I just sit here like elf on the shelf and wait you two to turn up. Beyond words how boring it is."

"Feel up for a drive?" Caroline asked. "Would that cheer you up?"

"Am I so obviously in need of cheering up?" Kate asked a bit testily.

"Yep." said Caroline with a laugh. "You are a portrait of bad mood; a tableau vivant of snappy sad sack; a walking exemplar of ..."

"I'm sitting, not walking." Kate interrupted, smiling. "Let me welcome you home properly. She pulled Caroline to her and gave her a welcome home kiss that cheered them both up. "You want to go out now?" Kate asked. "Aren't you tired?"

"No, not really. Laurence needs something for his bread and I thought we could all go out for dinner when were done."

xxxXx

Kate and Laurence stood behind a shopping cart in the tiling aisle at the B&Q, contemplating ceramic tiles. Caroline had gone in search of the perfect pruning shears.

"I'm sure this is a math problem," said Kate. "We figure out the area of each side you want to enclose, then figure out how many tiles we need."

"I measured the inside of the oven. If I take the top rack out it should fit fine." said Laurence.

"How will you hold the tiles together?" Kate asked.

"Well, I read up on it." Most people put tiles on cement board, but we need it to be pretty fire proof." They both laughed imagining Caroline's reaction if she came home to find Laurence's DIY clay baking oven insert on fire inside her beloved oven.

"To be fair…." noted Kate.

"I know," sighed Laurence. You wouldn't be thrilled either. "Lets find a guy and see if they carry the board that I need."

"'Can I help you?' said no store employee ever," Kate complained.

"Are you ok?" Laurence asked, suddenly concerned.

"It's just pregnant lady woes," said Kate, not wanting to embarrass him.

"I thought walking was good for those things." Laurence said in as neutral a voice as he could manage.

"You sound like my doctor." said Kate with a sigh. "You sound like Caroline." she continued. "Wait a second, she said in a somewhat more focused and somewhat more irritated voice. "Has Caroline cooked something up? Has she put you up to something?" she demanded.

Poor Laurence suddenly found the floor the most interesting spot in the world. He blushed fiercely and Kate couldn't help but laugh at the resemblance between mother and son.

"What?" Kate asked. "I promise you I'm not mad. I just want to know what the mastermind's master plan is." Laurence grinned at this.

"She wants me to help you with an exercise and hydration regime," he said and started to laugh.

"Where did this come from?" Kate demanded.

"Um, apparently, you've declined her offers of Baby Bounce exercise DVDs and the doctor's worried about you retaining water." Laurence agreed with Kate about the pregnant lady exercise DVDs and hoped to limit their discussion of edema to the bare minimum.

"Then why are we buying clay oven kit?" she asked, a bit confused.

"That was the deal. I said I'd get you started on weights and water if she let me build an oven insert. We'll stop at Performax for weights before dinner." he admitted sheepishly. Kate thought about this for a moment.

"I admire that Laurence. I truly admire your acumen. Ok. Let's find someone to help us with the cement board. Will you need a tile cutter?" she asked, as they strolled down the aisle.

xxxXx

To Laurence's mind, the weights were ridiculous: pink and lavender. The lavenders weighed in at a kilo. They were the heavy ones. He sighed and picked them up, one in each hand. "So, I read around on the web a bit. And at this stage of the game you really just want to elevate heart rate. Curls, raises, lunges and squats should do it."

Kate nodded, attempting to look serious and attentive, a smile teasing the corners of her mouth.

"If you want," Laurence paused, "I can ask Coach for advice on a more comprehensive regime." Caroline, sitting at the kitchen counter swallowed a snort.

"Won't be necessary, Laurence. We're doing this simply to appease your mother and the doctor," said Kate sternly.

"Might be good for the baby, too," Laurence ventured.

"Well there's that." Caroline muttered.

"Ok, Dr. Elliot," Kate said sharply, you've just won a free trip to McKenzie's Magic Workout Hour. Hand her the weights Laurence." Laurence handed his mother the lavender colored weights.

"Kate, really," Caroline objected.

"Nope, I think I really need your loving support here, Caroline." Kate said firmly.

"You'll need to be standing to do these, Mum," Laurence said a little sadly.

"It's the hormones," Caroline confided in a stage whisper to Laurence as she took off her glasses and got up from the stool. They make you nuts. Dear god these are heavy."

"Um, maybe we should start with one each. Give me those, Ma. Kate, hand me one of the pink ones. Mum - for you. Ok. What you're trying to do when you do curls..." Inwardly he sighed. He soldiered on, explaining each exercise. The burst of giggles that his demonstration of the lunge engendered almost finished him. But he bit his lip, thought of his ceramic oven insert and the possibilities it offered for crust and crumb and pushed through the psychic pain.

After about 10 minutes, Kate's phone suddenly began to beep and vibrate on the kitchen counter.

"Thank god," Caroline murmured, stopping. Kate, embarrassed to find herself a bit out of breath, looked up from the phone in confusion.

Laurence had stuck his head into the fridge and was returning with several bottles of spring water when she said, "there's no call or text."

"It's your workout program app," he explained, offering her a bottle of water. "Mum, you should take one of these too. I've set the app to buzz every 10 minutes. You'll need to start it at the beginning of every workout."

"Obviously," said Caroline.

"Caroline," admonished Kate in a warning voice.

"Why 10 minutes?" she asked.

"Well," you're trying to hydrate and you're pretty late stage so you don't want to overdue it or even work up much of a sweat. So I figured if you stopped every 10 minutes, drank some water, and cooled down a bit, the work out app wouldn't undermine the hydration app."

"The hydration app." Kate asked, her voice rising.

"I swear I knew nothing about this." Caroline said.

"Yeah. That's going to buzz every hour. It will also text you and send you an email and an automatic phone call." he explained. "When you get the message, you drink 8 ounces of water and snooze the app."

"I couldn't just remember to drink a glass of water every hour?" Kate asked, somewhat offended.

"Well," Laurence said with the casual brutality of adolescence, "you haven't been, have you. Or you wouldn't have all the water retention issues." He blushed and looked at the floor for a moment. Caroline laughed again.

"Drink your water, Caroline," Kate said breathing slowly. "We have two more sets."

Laurence knew he had no notion what changes the baby would bring to his life. But frankly, he couldn't wait for her to be born.


	10. Chapter 10 - Party Prep

Caroline lay with her head resting on Kate's thigh. The room was still but for the sound of breathing returning to a normal rate. It was this moment Caroline loved best, feeling that in the quiet she absorbed some of Kate's peace, stocking it up against the morrow's worries. For Kate, the best thing afterwards was lying on her side and looking into Caroline's eyes as her pulse slowed - leaning in to kiss her lightly on the lips, seeing her smile mirrored - leaning over to touch her cheek lightly or brush her hair. "Come here," she said. "I want to see you." Caroline sighed happily and scouched her way up the mattress.

"Well, hello," she grinned. "Here you are."

Kate smiled. "Yep. Here I am." She lifted her hand and ran it through Caroline's hair. "That was wonderful. Thank you."

"No thanks needed. I'm sure you'd do the same for me." Caroline said. They laughed together.

"How do you ever think of these things?" Kate asked. "You should write a book: How to give your very pregnant girlfriend fantastic orgasms, by Dr. Caroline Elliot. . We'd retire on the profits."

"Think there'd be much demand?" Caroline asked, running a finger over the length of Kate's jaw.

"Are you kidding me?" Kate replied. "You'd do well by doing good."

"Might be a few legal issues." Caroline noted.

"What?" Kate asked. She grabbed Caroline's wandering hand and brought her fingers to her mouth for a kiss. "I thought all the decency statutes had been revoked."

"Mmm," Caroline whispered. "Copyright's still on the books. That would be a scandal."

"Huh," Kate was confused but Caroline's eyes were laughing.

"'Private School Headmistress Plagiarizes Pregnancy Sex Book.' Screaming headlines in the Courier. Board of Governors would love that," Caroline said.

"Wait." Kate said. "You mean there are third trimester sex books?"

"Yep." said Caroline. "Lots of them. Found them on the internet and I've bought and read them all."

"Took notes, too?" asked Kate, smiling.

"Copious." said Caroline.

"You are magnificent." said Kate.

"So you say." said Caroline.

xxxXXXxxx

Caroline was washing up after dinner. Laurence had retreated to his room to cast his eyes over assigned readings whilst studying text messages.

"I have to ask you about something" Kate said. She was sitting at the counter, toying with a glass of water. It had to be her 10th of the day. Laurence, the water Nazi, knew, no doubt.

"What?" asked Caroline.

"Are you planning anything for Valentine's Day?"

"Might be." said Caroline.

"I've a favor to ask." said Kate.

"Anything." said Caroline.

"Would you mind if we don't go out for dinner on the day itself? asked Kate.

"Really?" asked Caroline. "I thought we'd get gussied up and make a night of it."

"I don't think we'd have a lot of fun." said Kate.

"Really? asked Caroline. "Why not?"

"John ever take you out for Valentine's?" she asked.

"Now and again." Caroline answered. "Not every year."

"Ever see a lot of gay couples out on your State Authorized Date Night journeys?" Kate questioned, her smile belying the bitterness of her words. Caroline thought back over a handful of scenes over the years. In each memory the interior design and the cut of her clothes became more expensive and more tasteful. The entrees became more expensive, if not necessarily better. No same sex couples in any scene.

"Oh." said Caroline. She sighed. "Well, we could try the Italian Connection, or Hales," she offered. Kate smiled. It was an open question whether Caroline would be more uncomfortable in a gay pub or as half of the only gay couple in a fancy restaurant.

"Already tried. Italian Connection's booked and Hales doesn't do reservations."

"Well," said Caroline, "I know you can get reservations at Malden's because I already have some."

"Really?" Kate was surprised. After a Christmastime review in the Courier, getting a reservation at Malden's for anything, much less Valentine's was a coup.

"Careful planning is my stock in trade," Caroline said lightly.

Kate walked over to her and put a hand on Caroline's arm. "It's one of your best traits," she said, smiling. Kate kissed her and Caroline made a quiet, happy humming sound. Kate kissed her again. "You're done in here." she said when their lips parted. Let's go sit down."

"You might persuade me," said Caroline.

"How many?" Kate asked.

"I think," said Caroline, pausing as though to reflect upon the question, "I think three." So Kate kissed her three times and taking her by the hand, led her back to the lounge.

After Caroline had helped her sit and adjusted pillows at her back and beneath her feet, she asked, "So no dinner date on Valentine's? I thought, 'We're out, we're proud, we're demanding equal access to restaurants on Valentine's day.'" She sounded defiant.

"Already done it. Not ever going to do it again. You go, you go solo." Kate said, grinning.

"That would rather defeat the entire purpose, wouldn't it?" Caroline said with a laugh. "Tell me?" she asked. Kate wasn't one to rhapsodize about her youthful escapades, Caroline had come to realize. Stumbling across this one pleased her greatly.

"The worst night of my life was a Valentine's date in a posh restaurant." Kate said with a laugh.

"Do tell!" said Caroline, eagerly.

"Show a little respect here, Caroline," Kate admonished, but she was grinning. "I'm about to bare my soul about a terrible experience."

"With someone who wasn't me on Valentine's," Caroline laughed. "As far as I'm concerned, the story already has a happy ending."

"You're incorrigible," said Kate. "It was a hundred years ago. I was just out of university."

"Who was the girl so lucky to catch you and so foolish to let you go?"

"Her name was Miranda. Miranda Jackson." said Kate.

"Miranda Jackson, the human rights lawyer?" asked Caroline incredulously.

"Well, she was just Miranda Jackson, reading law at Durham, then," laughed Kate.

"And she had a mad pash for you?" prodded Caroline.

"That she did," Kate agreed with a smile. Caroline let her head fall as though crestfallen. "But," Kate continued, "you'll be relieved to hear that she had a madder pash for grand gestures that seems to have survived our few dates. Have you seen that bit on the news about the sit-ins for domestic workers?"

"Yep," said Caroline, determined to head off one of Kate's patented narrative walkabouts, this time on migrant domestic workers - a worthy topic of discussion for some other night. "She's right. They're screwing workers. Back to the story of your tragic date," she said insistently. Kate smiled her slow lazy grin, the one that always accelerated Caroline's pulse.

"Well alright then," she said, picking up Caroline's hand and twining their fingers together. "She made reservations for us at a very nice restaurant. Well, I think more accurately it was an expensive, boring restaurant. The kind of place you take your parents to when they visit you while you're at university. But this place must have been run by idiots, because when we got there the wait was crazy. I thought at first it was just us, because we were, well, you know, a gay couple. But everyone was waiting and complaining. At least an hour. It was one of those restaurants in an old Georgian town house. The bar was in a parlour but it was jammed and we ended up stuck in the vestibule. Waiters walking through occasionally with trays over their heads and all of us scared half to death that the à l'orange sauce would wander off a duck breast and on to our fancy best if they ever tripped over any of us."

"Miranda and I were carrying on talking, pretending it was an ordinary night in an ordinary restaurant. But of course it wasn't. And all the lovely heterosexuals were trying to stare at us without actually staring at us. Which was hard because we were all crammed together like sardines in a tin. I'm sure a few astigmatisms were created that night."

"Why didn't you just leave?" asked Caroline.

"That's what Miranda asked after all of ten minutes." observed Kate.

"Obviously the wrong question." Caroline noted.

"Not for you. You're not the one who took a perfectly lovely opportunity for an evening with your girlfriend and turned it into some all politics is personal political event." said Kate, surprised to find that after all these years she was still a bit angry about the evening.

"Darling," said Caroline in very serious tones, "I can assure you that no evening out for us will ever be an all politics is personal political event." Kate hooted. "You declined to leave?" Caroline prompted.

"Of course I did. I had wanted to stay home, order pizza, watch a Katherine Hepburn movie on the vcr and see if perhaps we'd be inspired. She's the one who insisted on going out to that damned restaurant. What was it called?" she mused to herself.

"I'm sure it's long since closed," Caroline said hastily. "What happened."

"Well, eventually they sat us. But it was another hour till we were served. And conversation was, well, it was not Miranda's most sparkling evening. Although I did have a bit of fun with the folks at the tables nearby. Miranda was furious."

"What did you do?" asked Caroline.

"I talked about all the churches I practiced in or played services at or performed student concerts in. So when anyone listened in - which to be fair, we were squashed together so closely it probably violated every fire code in the county, it'd be hard not to listen in - they'd hear two black lesbians on a Valentine's date talking about Anglican churches in the area." Kate grinned. "That part was fun," she admitted. Caroline hooted.

"Finally we were done and the crowd had thinned considerably. And the very sweet, very gay boy who had been tending the bar put on Indigo Girls music for us on dining room stereo system." Caroline looked at her blankly. "Never mind," said Kate. "You probably missed them. Girls, guitars, harmony. Anyway, we left and I asked Miranda never to call me again."

"That's a bit stern," observed Caroline.

"Well, yes," agreed Kate. "I see that now. But then I was furious. I mean the nerve. It was her plan, wasn't it? We were going to embody equality and force all those heterosexual couples to consider their own assumed but unexamined privilege. If we had to stand in a crowd in the vestibule for an hour because the maitre d' didn't know how to manage his own reservation system, well that was all to the better for us, in terms of political action, wasn't it. Because it wasn't going to be a romantic evening, was it? It wasn't going to be a Valentine's Day date. But after ten minutes Miranda was ready to chuck it. It was her idea in the first place."

"Did you really talk like that at university?" asked Caroline. "Heterosexual privilege?"

Kate blushed. "I was very young," she said. "I was right. But I was young."

"Funny," mused Caroline. "First this language comes out as activist theory and I completely miss it. A quarter of a century later it's bullet points in government directives I get on safe and healthy school culture and I damn well better know it backwards and forwards."

"I suppose it's progress," said Kate grudgingly. "But I'm not going anywhere out of this house on Valentine's. So if you want a lovey, dovey romantic evening, plan something for home."

"I'm on it." said Caroline with a grin. "I should probably call Malden's though. Every straight couple in Harrogate is no doubt dying for a reservation." Kate laughed and Caroline picked up the television remote. Then she stopped.

"Kate?" she asked.

"Yes, Caroline?" Kate replied.

"Don't ever let me do something as stupid as that. I know I can be dense. But I never want to be compared to Miranda Jackson in your mind."

"Too late. Have been. You're better. Worth the wait, too." Caroline heard herself giggle. "But you know Caroline," Kate interrupted her. "I've learned a lot over the years. That's why we're having this conversation now."

"Oh," said Caroline. "Ok." And she leant back to snuggle against her.

"What are we watching?" asked Kate.

"Whatever you want." said Caroline.

xxxXXXxxx

"I do appreciate this, Celia," said Kate again as she struggled with the seatbelt of Celia and Alan's car.

"Don't be silly, love." said Celia. "I'm happy to do it."

"I've just had the worst time with my eyes lately. I'm afraid to drive." explained Kate.

"It's just your time, dear." said Celia waiting, not with complete patience, as Kate sought to settle herself. Kate would have preferred to take her little Fiat, which while small was not so impossibly low as to make the car all but impossible for pregnant women to enter or exit or to sit comfortably in. "Kenneth's sister, the one in Australia, had the same problem. Her eyes were always tired. She used to say she felt like she woke up with her eyes so blurry she felt like she'd read all of Dickens in her sleep. Which if you knew her, Kate, you'd find funny, because it's not clear to anyone that she ever had read so much as a cereal box. So it's very common, I'm told."

"But you never had it?" asked Kate, knowing what the answer would be.

"No. When I had Caroline I was as healthy as an ox. I had so much energy then, I'd have washed walls for the sheer pleasure of it," Celia said with a laugh that did not have half the trace of smugness in it that Kate heard.

"It's just the boredom of sitting around all day with nothing to read. Even playing the piano's hard if I want to play something new. And now I can't even get out on my own to do the shopping." Kate hated whiners and it was pretty clear that she was whining. She sighed.

"Aren't you are a sorry chick," said Celia with some rough sympathy. "Don't worry love, it will be over soon enough. So, where are we off to?" Celia asked good naturedly.

"I thought we'd start with Leng's and if I can't get all of what I need, then if you don't mind the co-operative?" Kate asked, a little hesitant, as always, with Celia.

"We're off, then. First stop, Leng's. Handy for me. I can pick up some bananas for Alan."

xxxXXXxxx

"Gillian, Hi - it's Kate - Kate McKenzie." Kate began in a voice she hoped sounded self-assured.

"Kate! What a surprise." said Gillian. "Listen, just a second. Could you give me a mo, here. Shit." Kate heard the phone drop, some banging of metal on metal. Some cursing. Then a sigh. Then quiet.

"Kate?" asked Gillian embarrassed, half expecting her to have hung up.

"Hi Gillian - sorry to interrupt." Kate said.

Gillian smiled broadly. "No worries. You can't call a farmer and not interrupt something. So what can I do for you?"

"More than a little bit," said Kate. I need some advice and some help." Poor Kate, Gillian thought to herself. If ever there was advice or help needed in the Buttershaw clan, Gillian's name always failed to make the call list.

"Sure. What's up?" asked Gillian.

"It's Saturday." Kate began.

"Ah, yes, the big rugby match." said Gillian. "Dad's all excited about it."

"That's sweet. Caroline's thrilled he wants to come. Grandfathers are rather thin on the ground in Harrogate and Laurence is over the moon. I didn't know Alan was a rugby man."

"Neither did I. He went to all of Raff's football matches and never said a word about rugby. Probably follows the boys' lead. So what do you need?"

"Well the first part," Kate explained, "should be easy. I want to make up some picnic hampers for the match and I hoped you'd do a lamb roast for sandwiches."

"Is the second part asking me to match?" asked Kate.

"Oh, no, Gillian," said Kate. "You're coming to the match, with or without the lamb roast." Caroline had told Gillian that once Kate had the bit in her mouth about something it was just a matter of time before she made it happen.

"I've finally learned," Caroline had told her, "to agree as quickly as possible whenever she's in Demeter of the Dales mode. We're working on my ability to recognize the mode more quickly." So this is what Caroline meant, Gillian realized - there was no threat in Kate's voice, just pure certainty.

"Of course I'm coming, Kate. Thanks for thinking of me." said Gillian. Kate heard the chuckle in Gillian's voice, imagined Caroline and Gillian playing happy sisters over a glass of wine and blushed.

"The thing is," she said, "I'm not quite sure that Caroline's quite realized what a scene this will be."

"I'm not sure I have either," said Gillian. "Surely she's gone to one of Laurence's rugby match before."

"Not with her very pregnant partner, mother and father-in-law. To the first match at home of the season. In front of half the parents, a third the faculty and probably a good number from the Board of Governors."

"Oh," said Gillian. "I see. Well, actually, I don't Kate. I thought you were all out and about now. Surely she's thought this through."

"I hope so," Kate said. "And perhaps I'm doing her an injustice, but I'm afraid she's at the part of the coming out process where she's not thinking about the emotional costs to herself."

"Ok," said Gillian, "but now I'm confused. I thought being out was a big deal to you. She's said as much to me."

"It is," said Kate hurriedly. "It very much is. But I'm just worried that she'll be stomping along the rugby pitch, shouting Laurence encouragement and she'll hear somebody say something. Or maybe just look up and see all the people in the stands and all of a sudden she'll feel like everybody in the entire world is watching her and she's got a big sign hanging over her saying, "Caroline's a lesbian."

"Mine says, 'Gillian's a knob," if it's any consolation, said Gillian sympathetically.

"Well it shouldn't, and I'll work on you next if you'd like but I'm a bit preoccupied now," said Kate.

"Right," said Gillian, all business like. "What can I do."

"Well, first of all," said Kate, be there so she knows when you look at her the sign says, 'Snotty Bitch.' I'm trying to pack the scene with people who she knows think all sorts of different things about her."

"That's brilliant, Kate. Of course I'll come." said Gillian.

"Yes, well, that's the easy part." said Kate.

"Oh dear, said Gillian. "John."

"Right. I have to ask him. It's Laurence's match."

"Right," said Gillian. Of course you do. I can't imagine what her sign will say when he looks at her."

"You know Gillian," Kate said, "to be honest, I think he may be the one person in the world whose opinion matters not at all to her. But it does to Laurence."

"Right," said Gillian. "Look, Kate, does this conversation lead to the part where you tell me to run interference between John and Caroline and maybe Celia, and also myself?"

"Inexorably," said Kate. "Which I know is asking you the world, but I'm juggling a lot here Gillian and I really need your help."

"Short answer is yes," said Gillian. "But can I just observe that if I'm the solution, you may have stumbled into a very worrisome problem, indeed."

"That not how I see it Gillian." said Kate. "But listen, I've got to run. Celia's taking me shopping and she's ready to go."

"Celia's taking you shopping? Dear god, you're tough."

"Right, well, needs must." said Kate. "Listen, thank you. I'll call you later in the week after I hear from John."

xxxXXXxxx

"My mother took you shopping?" Caroline asked incredulously.

"No. Well yes. She wanted to buy Alan's bananas. It wasn't like a dragged her out at gun point." said Kate defensively.

Caroline put her glass down and wrapped her arms around Kate. "Shh, shh. It's ok. I'm not being critical. Just surprised. Why did my mother take you shopping?"

"I wanted to get the fixings for Saturday." Kate said.

Laurence extricated himself, laden, from the refrigerator. "My rugby match is Saturday," he reminded Kate and Caroline nervously.

"I know." said Kate in exasperation. "I thought we should have some food, sandwiches, hot tea, muffins. You know. For everyone who's coming."

"It's not like cricket, Kate." said Laurence a little snottily. "No scones required."

"I am aware of that, Laurence." said Kate. Actually, she wasn't. She liked to hike, but organized team sport and its various subcultures might as well have been differential equations as far as Kate was concerned. Somehow, she sensed, Laurence knew this. "But Alan and Celia might get a bit chilled between the moments of your prowess on the field."

"And I'll want a thousand little snacks because, you know, I'll be awake." Kate continued. Laurence laughed. "And your mother will need to refuel between cataclysmic bouts of questioning the visual and analytical acuity of the referees." Laurence laughed again.

"Now, just a minute." Caroline protested. Both Kate and Laurence laughed now. Caroline was not a sports fan, but she was a loyal and vocal fan of the SH teams whose matches she attended. Before Laurence began rugby, she simply asked the coaches to rotate the sport she would follow each season and send their home game schedules to Beverly. Once Laurence began playing, rugby always had a place in her schedule. Part of her legend included rousing, if in retrospect ironic, tales of Caroline sweeping the sidelines, her coat flowing behind her, her judgment about adverse decisions never shouted, but enunciated clearly enough to be heard in the bleachers ("I suppose in an alternative universe comprised of 6 dimensions with unicorns there might exist a field on which Mr. Heffernan could have been off-sides; that, however is not the reality we inhabit." "Charging? Really, you call that charging? Miss Wilton no more charged that girl than she sprouted wings and flew like Ariel.") Once Laurence began rugby her reputation among students and alumni entered a phase of epic retelling.

Kate smiled down at her. "Darling, it must be aerobic, all that sidelines commentary. You'll need to keep your strength up."

"Fine," said Caroline. So what are your catering plans?" she asked with a smile.

"Well, I thought I'd ask Laurence to do sandwich bread for us."

"Can do." said Laurence agreeably. "I've been wanting to try a new recipe I found with molasses for the feeding the yeast."

"That's nice, dear, said Caroline absently, "just plan a schedule this week so you get the bread done and make a nodding acquaintance with your homework."

"How much will you need, Kate?" he asked, pointedly refusing to rise to Caroline's bait.

"Well, there's me and your Mum, Alan and Celia, Angus' mum - I hope you don't mind that I asked Felicity," she looked at each of them carefully but they both seemed unperturbed." Laurence shrugged his shoulders - the truly indifferent, not eloquently dismissive shrug and Caroline's face brightened.

"Oh, Kate - how kind, " she said.

"Self interest, really," said Kate. She promised to explain the rules to me. Also Laurence, Gillian's coming too, if you don't mind." Again, the shrug of genuine indifference from Laurence.

"Gillian? Our Gillian?" asked Caroline?

"I hope it's alright. But I wanted to ask her for a lamb roast for the sandwiches and I couldn't not invite her. And, I think she's been a bit lonely." Kate rushed on, still uncertain and defensive. She felt nervous taking the lead in organizing social plans for Caroline's family. Caroline hated to hear that note in her voice.

"No, not at all," she assured her. "Sweetheart, you could invite the Sheik of Araby and I'd be happy."

"Will my Dad be there?" asked Laurence. Suddenly the temperature in the room dropped.

"Laurence, I've called and invited him. I hope that was alright. I only got his voice mail." said Kate. Her voice was steady and low. Laurence's deployed his feigned indifference shrug, which was painful for his mother to watch. "But why don't you call him and remind him." Kate continued. "He hasn't even tried your bread yet, has he?" Kate asked. Caroline turned to busy herself sorting the post. One part of her mind was furious that John hadn't had the courtesy to return Kate's call. One part of her mind was angry that Laurence so badly wanted him there. One part of her mind was angry with herself, that she'd begrudge Laurence his own father's support. One part of her mind knew that after dinner, when Laurence had cocooned himself in some xbox game in his room, she would curl herself into Kate and they'd talk about their day and the plans for the rugby match over and Kate would help her feel alright with the chaotic mess of social relations her family life had become. That part thrummed with such contentment that the rest of the parts seemed entirely manageable.

xxxXXXxxx

"More stuff for the baby?" asked Laurence as he struggled to move the last of the boxes from drive into the kitchen as Caroline had asked.

"No." his mother replied. "Stuff for your match. Won't do you any good, Mr. Muscles, but the rest of the party will appreciate it."

"What's all this?" asked Kate coming into the kitchen from the hallway stairs. Caroline looked up from the post Kate had left sorted on the counter for her.

"Hello, love," she said to Kate. "I was just going to make some tea? Would you like some?"

"Depends," said Kate. "Can I help Laurence?"

"Depends on what?" asked Caroline.

"Sure," said Laurence. He handed her one of the smaller boxes. "Mum," what did you buy? This thing weighs a ton."

"If you make it properly." said Kate. "I don't mind making it myself if you want to run up and change, though."

"Mum," Laurence squeaked. "Why did you buy," he paused to read aloud from the carton, "a wheeled battery charger with engine starter?"

"Would you mind. Fleece and flats are the only possible solution to a Friday afternoon." Kate, still toting the box Laurence had handed to her came round the counter and gave her a quick kiss.

"It's to charge the seat batteries, Laurence," Caroline explained. "We'll keep it for the jeep as a safety measure, though."

"Off you go, then," said Kate, taking Caroline by the shoulders and turning her towards the stairs. I'll get this sorted and if you play your cards right, you may add foot rub to your Friday devotions."

"God, the mysteries of the Trinity finally explained." Caroline stole another kiss, then grabbed her purse and ran up the stairs to their room.

She returned to find a tray with tea on the dining table, and five heated stadium seats and a battery charged heated blanket piled neatly on the kitchen counter. Every available plug in the kitchen was charging the batteries. Laurence, by now unselfconscious in his mother's kitchen apron, the one that said, "Kiss the Cook!" across the chest, was carefully scoring bread dough for its last rise.

"I'll put it in 20 minutes," he said to Kate. "It shouldn't take more than an hour after that."

"Would I face a rebellion," Caroline asked as she walked to join Kate at the table, "if I insisted on curry takeaway for dinner?"

"Not from me." said Kate."

"None here, said Laurence.

"I shall deny it if either of you ever repeat this," Caroline said as she put her cup down, "but Mum's right, darling. You do make a lovely cuppa."

"It appears, Dr. Elliot," that you've played your cards well." Kate laughed. "A post-prandial foot rub for the lady."

"Well played, Mum," said Laurence as he set the timer for the bread.

"So what did you do all day?" Caroline asked Kate.

Kate smiled, a bit sadly. "Slept mostly," she said. Worked on the picnic fixings for tomorrow. Chatted with Laurence when he came home."

"It's important for the baker to engage in witty repartée whilst working." Laurence said with mock solemnity.

"I thought that was sushi masters?" Caroline said.

"We are all brothers under the apron, Mum."

"Listen to you," Caroline hooted in appreciation.

Kate smiled. "I owe you, Laurence. I'm going a bit stir-crazy - although I seem to need the naps."

"What happened to reading. Teachers are always telling kids to read when they're bored."

"Can't." said Kate simply. My eyes won't focus properly.

"Let me guess," said Laurence. "Hormones." Kate and Caroline laughed.

"Why don't you do books on tape?" Caroline asked.

"There's an idea." said Kate.

"Do we even have a tape recorder?" asked Caroline. "I might bring something home for you from school."

"I'm sure your Mum would run me to the library, too." said Kate.

"You guys are kidding, right?" asked Laurence. "Pulling my leg? Winding me up? Teasing the adolescent in the house? Talk about fish in the barrel."

"What?" asked Caroline.

"There's an app for that, Mum. Honestly, Kate, I thought you'd have figured that out by now." Caroline and Kate turned to each other with raised eyebrows.

"We should snog, just to pay him back," suggested Kate.

"Right here?" asked Caroline, playing along. "Right now? Over the teapot."

"Oh," said Kate. "I forgot about the teapot. That would probably be inappropriate."

"Saved by the teapot," laughed Laurence. "Ok, I'll stop being a brat. There's a bunch of different apps that let you buy and listen to 'books on tape,' as you so quaintly put it. Amazon and Apple probably have the biggest libraries but there are other platforms too. I can set it up for you if you want, Kate."

"Thank you, Laurence. That would be lovely." answered Kate.

"What will you listen to first?" asked Caroline.

"Oh, hadn't thought about that. Serious question - formative experience for the smart phone. I should ponder this."

"I say," said Caroline, "you should listen to all of Jane Austen."

"Kill me now, Mum." Laurence interjected.

"Actually," said Kate, "I wonder if someone's recorded the Patrick O'Brien novels about Aubrey and Maturin. I swear his prose is as good as Austen's and you get sea battles and swash buckling for good measure."

"Check and double check." said Laurence, staring at the screen on his phone. There's a lot of them Kate."

"Swashbuckling? You? Kate?" Caroline said in surprise. "The things you learn in your own kitchen."

"You saw Master and Commander, didn't you Laurence?" asked Kate.

"Talk about a rhetorical question," muttered Caroline.

"Yeah," Laurence said. "It was alright." 'Alright,' of course, was adolescent for, 'the best thing ever.'

"The movie's based on the O'Brian novels," explained Kate. "You should listen to one. They're all set in the Napoleonic Wars. Very exciting stuff. O'Brian's a bit hard on the French, but I loved reading them."

Laurence knew that she was baiting the hook. Kate had been on a campaign to get him to read more since Christmas.

"There's another series you might like," he offered. "It's set in the Napoleonic Wars. Let me check if they're recorded."

"Really?" asked Kate, genuinely interested.

"Yep," said Laurence. Here it is. Audio download available. _Her Majesty's Dragon._" Caroline laughed.

"No really, Kate," he said earnestly. "You might actually like it. They're like Master and Commander, except there are also dragons."

"Beats zombies," Caroline muttered.

"Up for a challenge?" Kate asked Laurence.

His eyes narrowed. "Depends on the challenge," he said cautiously.

"I'll match you book for book." "You listen to O'Brian, I'll listen to the dragons." We can compare notes while you're baking.

"You're on," He said, after awhile. Upon reflection, the thought of his Mum finding Kate with earbuds on, listening to a novel with dragons made him smile.

"Then make it so with all the technology, Master Elliot."

"Yes, Ma'am." he said with a smart salute. Then he turned to put the bread in the oven.

"This will be good," Kate said to Caroline. We can listen tonight while I'm giving you a footrub."

Caroline sighed and looked down at her hands. "The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away."

"You'll manage," said Kate with little sympathy. She loved a good swashbuckler,.


End file.
